Shadows Of The Past
by FriendsLovers
Summary: When the past comes back to haunt you, the love and support of people at your side can ease the pain. - DL, with Stella/Lindsay friendship
1. Old Memories

**Shadows Of The Past**

**Summary: When the past comes back to haunt you, the love and support of people at your side can ease the pain. - DL, with Stella/Lindsay friendship**

**Author's note: Huge thanks to afrozenheart412 and lily moonlight for discussing this fic with me! This fic will focus on what we know about Lindsay from season 3 and how Danny and Stella will support her. It's set early season 3. I hope you'll like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything.**

**Rating: T**

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Chapter 1: Old Memories  
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She didn't know how long she was sitting on the barstool, staring at the glass that was standing in front of her and around which her hands were clenching in a tight grip. Slightly foggy her view was, surely due to the steadily returning tears. The clear, dark liquor was glistering in the dull light of the bar of which she didn't even know the name. Or the location.

She wasn't there for the alcohol or to get drunk. If so she would have simply cleared a bottle or two at home. Barely she had managed to empty her first glass of whisky so far; too much the lump in her throat was making swallowing impossible.

No, she was there for other reasons, for reasons she didn't even understand.

She knew she shouldn't be there, at this bar, surrounded by strangers that were giving her those looks that made her scared to leave said bar, not knowing what would happen the second she wasn't in the middle of a crowd anymore.

Still being at this place was better than being at home, in her quiet, lonely apartment. She couldn't bear this loneliness. She couldn't bear the quiet. It would only make her think and remember. And that was the last she wanted to do now.

Thinking. About what had happened earlier that day, in that diner. Or so many years ago, again in a diner. She didn't want to think about that. Not now. And being at a place like that currently prevented her from thinking. She would rather like to be around other people than those guys who she didn't even dare to look at. But currently they were a better company than no one. She could have visited a person who actually cared about her. But then she would have had to talk. And she couldn't talk. Not now.

Still she knew this wouldn't wipe away the pain, the guilt, the anger. Somewhere along the line she would have to go back home. And then it would all rush back. There wouldn't be loud noises surrounding her, no rude guys hitting on her, no bartenders asking if she wanted a drink, no girly women giggling hysterically. Then everything would be quiet and she would have to think. And feel. Pain. Guilt. Anger. And she wouldn't be able to escape.

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Standing outside the bar, Danny triple-checked the address to make sure he had found the right place. Once again he realised he hadn't read it wrong. He had already gotten a strange feeling when he had tracked down her cell and had seen the address that had shown up. Now said address had led him to a bar; one of those bars he would have never expected her to go to. But possibly it had just been the closest to her place and she hadn't been picky.

Releasing a light sigh, Danny ran a hand through his short hair while he kept on watching drunk people leaving the bar and already drunk people entering it. Insecurity was rising inside him. Insecurity on how to react to Lindsay, how to treat her for the case he got the chance to talk to her.

Concern had been what had led him to look for her. After what had happened in the morning, he had barely been able to be away from her side, making sure she was really alright. All he had gotten though were half hearted, painful smiles and her attempts at reassuring him that she was fine. She wasn't though and he knew it, he could feel it. So badly he had wanted to follow her when she had left work. He had used the time at the lab to call her at home, just to find out she hadn't arrived there, or didn't answer her phone. To rule out the former, he had tracked down her phone, just to find her at this bar now.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes for a moment, fighting back the steadily increasing insecurity. He couldn't set up a plan how to help her. He had to follow his instinct, hoping he would find a way to at least get her out of that bar and back home.

Quickly he made his way across the street that was still wet from the previous rain, reflecting the city lights. Then he entered the bar as well.

Walking through the entrance door, Danny was instantly greeted by a crowd of loud, drunk people, shoving each other around, laughing or yelling at each other. Once again he shook his head. This was the last place he wanted her to be. He scanned the room with his eyes, instinctively checking the bar first.

Like he had expected, he found her petite form on one of the stools, bent over the table. For a short moment only his heart made a relieved leap. Then he noticed the way she was glaring down at her glass, with an expression that instantly broke his heart. Without another moment of hesitation, he made his way over to her, determined he wouldn't let her send him away again.

Reaching Lindsay, Danny wasn't surprised she didn't even notice his presence. She seemed to be far away with her thoughts, nowhere near the place she actually was at currently. Carefully to not scare her, he climbed on the stool next to her, taking her in for a moment. The look in her eyes was hardly bearable for him. During the weeks and months he knew her now, he had always been impressed by how much her eyes revealed about what she was thinking and feeling. Now those usually sparkling brown eyes were filled with a pain he had barely ever seen before, and it touched him deep inside. So badly he wanted to hold her, wanted to tell her whatever had caused such pain would go away again. He had no idea if she would let him.

"That's an usual place for you to be, Montana," he said then, as softly as possible but the way he managed to startle her anyways caused him to wince. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"How did you find me?" Lindsay didn't look at him. Still she stared at the half filled glass. Her voice revealed she wasn't drunk, or at least didn't sound like it. It also revealed that his suspicion nothing was fine had been entirely right.

"I tracked down your phone," he answered. "Sounds like I'm a stalker, but I just got the feeling you didn't feel well and I was concerned."

"I'm fine," she said, almost whispering. A deep sigh left her lips when she shook her head. "You didn't have to come here. You're not responsible for me."

"I'm not, that's right," Danny replied. "But maybe I'm here because I care? Because I want to make sure you're alright? And not getting yourself into trouble?"

Lindsay didn't reply. Instead she kept on staring at her glass, not moving a single inch or bothering to look up at him. He sighed inwardly. There was a wall separating them at the moment that he didn't know how to tear down or to get over. All he could do was continuing to talk, hoping that he would be able to find the right words.

"Listen, I think this place here really isn't a nice one. Now that I found you, why don't we go somewhere else?" He didn't plan on taking her out to any other bar or club. But it would be an advantage if he got her at least out of this one.

Lindsay shook her head. "You think I'm stupid?" she asked in her hoarse voice. "I know you want to make me go home. But I don't want to be there."

"And why not?" he asked. Danny felt the strong urge to reach out to her, to show her any physical support. But the distance she tried to keep between them prevented him from doing so.

She laughed dryly. "Why? In that quiet, dark hole? No, thank you. That's the last place I want to be at now." Her hands tightened around the glass, her eyes squeezed shut.

"So what are your plans then? You want to stay here all night?" Danny wanted to know.

Lindsay shrugged barely noticeable. "Maybe some random guy picks me up, who knows."

He winced at just the words, let alone the imagination. He didn't know if she was being serious and was indeed planning on letting someone hit on her just so she wouldn't have to be alone at home. Just the possibility was worse enough though and caused his determination to stay at her side to increase.

"Alright, you'll come with me now," he told her simply, getting up.

Lindsay groaned when she saw him tossing a couple of bills on the bar before he grabbed her arm gently to pull her with him. Roughly, she tried to free her arm from his grip. "You don't have to tell me what to do," she hissed angrily, for the first time since he had arrived looking at him. "I don't need a babysitter, I won't do anything stupid."

"Fine, then you can prove that to me with leaving this bar now," he told her strictly. And before she got a chance to contradict, he guided her through the crowd back towards the exit.

It took him little effort to guide the exhausted and frustrated young woman. He managed to get her out of the bar that in his eyes was the last place he wanted to see her at. Greeted by the surprisingly cold breeze, she winced, wrapping her arms around her slim form. In silence he led her away from the crowds over to his car, making sure she wouldn't escape him and head back. There was a tension radiating from her whole appearance and he couldn't help the thought that all this pain was caused by more than the events from the morning.

Carefully Danny managed to get Lindsay into the car. A moment later he was sitting next to her, not making any attempts at starting the car though. Instead his attention was once again focussed on the young woman next to him, strictly staring out of the front window, not moving a single inch, not even blinking. Her usually sparkling eyes were focussing on nothing particularly. It was one of those moments where he dearly wished to be able to read her mind.

"Don't you want to start your car?" she asked in the same low, monotonous voice she had been using before.

"I'd rather like to know what's going on here." He paused for a moment at the way she tensed at the question. "Is it still because of the shooting this morning? If so, maybe you should finally talk about that to someone. Everyone of us would have a hard time after being involved in a shooting."

Lindsay's eyes closed at his words. He could only imagine what she was mentally replaying now. That morning she had been in her favourite diner, not far away from the lab. Sitting over a brownie and a cup of coffee, she hadn't noticed the man stepping through the entrance door. So she also hadn't noticed the shotgun he was carrying.

Until hell broke loose and a bloodcurdling scream had caused her to spin around. This had been the moment when the shooting had started, when bullets had been hitting everything in the room; glass, furniture, walls. People. It was a wonder she hadn't been hit, just like the waitress. The other only customer, a woman who had been sitting not far away from her, hadn't had as much luck. She had died before the ambulance had arrived. Despite everything she had tried to rescue her.

"What should I talk about?" she asked then, opening her eyes again, still refusing to look at him. "That I failed to rescue her? That instead this guy managed to survive even though I shot him into the chest?"

"Be glad you didn't kill him, no matter how much you think he would have deserved it," Danny told her softly. "And this woman...you couldn't have done anything for her. He shot her into the head. You could have tried everything and it wouldn't have worked. She didn't have a chance."

"She would have had if I had seen him coming," she whispered. "If I had interfered before he could have even risen his gun."

"But you can't always spin around whenever someone enters a room for the case the person could have the intention to randomly shoot around him," he replied.

She laughed sadly. "Oh yeah? Tell my friends about that. It's not like it never happened before."

The undeniable pain Danny could make out in every spoken word was yet another proof for his imagination that something more was wrong, even though what she had to go through earlier that day had been horrible enough. Still he himself could feel shivers running down his spine at the thought that she could have been hit as well. Clearly he could remember how they had arrived at the scene, how he had seen the desperation in her eyes about the fact she hadn't been able to safe the victim. Since that moment, he and Stella had stayed close at her side, trying to offer her the shoulder to lean on she might need. She had refused to take it, but neither of them was willing to give up. Which had caused him to follow her.

"What do you mean with telling your friends about that?" he asked then after being silent for a while.

Her hands clenched into tight fists, the knuckles turning white. She was fighting with herself and almost he regretted he had even asked. Then again he knew how painful it was to shut people off and that it didn't work at all. He needed to make her talk, no matter how much she had to struggle with that.

"I've been involved in a shooting before," she managed to say then. Once again her eyes squeezed shut tightly. "I've been sixteen back then. It's been the evening before summer vacation and we've met at our favourite diner because neither of us wanted to actually go. We'd rather have spend the time together." A tiny smile lit her face for the whisper of a moment before her expression turned serious again. "I've headed to the bathroom for a moment. Just a moment later I could hear the doorbell when someone else entered the diner. The next I could hear were gunshots."

She had to stop. Danny was staring at Lindsay in disbelief at her words. He had expected to hear a painful story and yet she hadn't even finished it. But he didn't need to hear more to know what would follow and the thought of that alone was hurting him horribly.

"I could hear them scream," she continued then, her voice so quiet he could barely understand her. Her tight fists were shaking, so was her whole body. "Luckily he didn't find me in that bathroom. I stayed in there until I could hear the doorbell again. Then I left it and I found them. My friends and the waitress. They've all been shot."

Once again her voice trailed off. The first thick tear had found its way out of her tightly closed eyes, running down her cheek like a glistering pearl. Had there been hesitation before, now Danny didn't care anymore. Reaching out, he pulled Lindsay into his arms as close as he could in their sitting positions. She didn't fight back, instead allowed him to hold her, grabbing the front of his jacket tightly while searching for the support she had been trying to avoid all day.

"I couldn't do anything, I couldn't help them," she sobbed, finally allowing her tears to flow free. "I don't understand why I had such a luck and why they didn't. And now this. Again I have been in this same situation, again I had luck and someone else didn't. Again I couldn't do anything. I couldn't safe her. I just couldn't."

Hearing the strong mix of pain, guilt and desperation in her voice, he tightened his grip around her. Slowly he started to understand. He wished to tell her that she wasn't to blame for anything that had happened back then, that she couldn't have done anything different and that she should be glad she had been so lucky. But he knew this wouldn't help her and currently she wouldn't believe him either. All he could do was showing her his support. His heart was aching at the story he had just heard. Who would have expected that behind this happy, cheering facade, such a painful secret would be hidden?

"I don't want to go home," she managed to say then, after crying in his chest for a couple of moments. Lightly she pulled out of his arms until she could face him. Lindsay's eyes locked with Danny's and he couldn't help the light shivers that ran down his spine at the sudden closeness between them. "I don't want to have to think about this morning, about how it could have gone or what I could have done. Or about them."

Her voice had trailed off into a whisper until she was quiet again, staring him right into the eyes. He didn't get the chance to think about what to response to her when she pulled him closer and her lips pressed against his. He couldn't do anything but respond to her kiss, not able to fight back the instinct that led him to do so. So much he was longing for this closeness between them, even though he would never admit he was secretly having a crush on her, wishing to get the chance to kiss her, or do more with her.

But this kiss wasn't what he had imagined it to be like. Deep in there, he could find a true wish of being that close to him and that she was agreeing to those feelings he had towards her. But currently this was overshadowed by pain and desperation. He knew what those kisses that were so deep and rough that they didn't fail to take his breath away, would lead to if he didn't make them stop. And he knew they weren't ready for that. Not now. Not under those circumstances.

And so he pulled back, ignoring the disappointment of his longing body. He found her gazing at him with confusion at the interruption and concern which he didn't want to see in her eyes.

"Stella is waiting for me to tell her that you're fine," he told her, trying to hide the affection in his voice. "I think you definitely shouldn't be alone tonight, so I'll take you to her. I think she won't mind if you stay at her place for the night."

Gently he released her from his grip. Lindsay nodded lightly, instead of turning her look away still staring at him.

"I'm sorry," she said then, quietly again, but still he got to hear her. Before he could ask what she was apologizing for, she added, "I'm sorry for doing something you didn't want. I went too far."

"No, you didn't," he answered honestly. "This has nothing to do with me not wanting it. I do, otherwise I wouldn't have kissed you back. But this is not the right time for that."

Her eyes narrowed at his words. "If you think I'm doing that to make myself feel good again...that's not true."

"You know, I believe you," he told her softly, hoping he could make his point clear to her. "But let's wait with that until you feel better again. Just to be sure."

Once again Lindsay stared back at him, thinking about his words. Danny knew she had understood him. The proof for that he got with the nod she made a moment later. Nodding himself, he started the car to take her to yet another person who cared about her enough to be up all night in concern. There was no doubt she needed them at her side, even if she wasn't willing to admit it. She had confessed she didn't want to be all by her own though and they would make sure she wouldn't have to.

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**Preview: Danny takes Lindsay to Stella's place.**


	2. People Who Care

**A/N: Aww, thank you so much for those sweet reviews! Thanks to everyone for reading the story and also for adding it to your favourites and alerts! Huge thanks to lily moonlight for helping me and having a look at the chapters! Special thanks to webdlfan, SMacked Hard, sucker-4-SMacked, afrozenheart412, Storywriter, saderia, ioanhoratio, brokenandlonelyangyl, lily moonlight and Andie24!**

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****Chapter 2: People Who Care**

For a while now, Stella was pacing up and down the length of her living room. She had tried to sit down, but she couldn't get herself calm enough to actually stay in a chair or on the couch. She had to be in motion. Too nervous she was.

Once again Stella glared at her cell phone which she was carrying wherever she went, making sure she wouldn't miss the phone call she was waiting for. A phone call that would tell her whether her best friend was alright or not. Even though she actually knew the answer already.

When Stella had arrived at the crime scene early in the morning, finding out what had happened, she had immediately known that nothing would be okay. She had seen Lindsay, had seen the expression in her friend's eyes. Immediately thoughts of what the younger woman had told her had appeared in her mind.

Clearly Stella could remember how Lindsay had visited her the night after Frankie had attacked her in her own apartment. She had been surprised by the unexpected visitor, and more than grateful about the careful support she had received. Since the very beginning, Stella had felt herself being pulled into the direction of Lindsay. Since the day they had met for the first time, there had started to build a soft bond between them.

This night in which Lindsay had visited Stella at her hotel room and they had spent hours with talking had intensified this bond a lot. She had been surprised that even though the two of them hadn't had too many chances to have deeper conversations, Lindsay seemed to know exactly what to say and when to say it. Instead of jumping in and telling her how sorry she was, she had started with random discussions about easier topics before she had gently hinted into the direction of what had actually happened to Stella.

This had also been the night when Stella had learnt that Lindsay had a dark secret of her own. After hours of talking, there had been the moment when she had spilled it; that her friends had been killed in a shooting which she had gotten out of luckily. A traumatic experience that was still haunting her.

So finding out that her friend had gotten into an almost similar situation again had been a shock for Stella. All day she had kept a close eye on Lindsay, so did Danny. Carefully they had tried to make the Montanan woman open up to them, but she had refused to talk. If Danny hadn't decided to follow her and find her after work, Stella would have done it herself. Now she was nervously waiting for the man's call and she was struggling with the wish to just search for them by herself.

"Ring finally!" she urged the phone in her hand. Just to almost drop it when she heard the shrill sound of her doorbell echoing through the quiet of her apartment. Quickly she made her way over to the entrance door, not without looking through the peep hole. Still there was this inner voice that told her to be careful, that depending on who was at the other side could cause harm for her. A sigh of relief left her lips when she found Danny and Lindsay standing in front of her door. Even through the peep hole she could see her best friend's expression. And the reddened eyes that revealed more than words could say.

"Hey," she greeted when she opened the door. Immediately stepping aside, she signalled Lindsay to walk into the living room already. Her friend understood the silent offer and left the hallway. Stella used the chance and stopped Danny before he could follow Lindsay.

"Did you get her to say anything?" she wanted to know.

Danny nodded. "She told me something about her past." When Stella nodded at his words, he added, "Do you know anything about that?"

"Yeah," Stella answered. "She told me about what happened to her friends. It's no surprise those events from today hurt her even more than it would have if she hadn't had to go through a nightmare like that before."

"Also explains why she wouldn't want to be alone," Danny replied. "That's why I took her to yours, I hope you don't mind. I...thought it would be better than me taking care of that. You know."

Stella nodded. The look Danny gave her answered the questions that could have been left open. She was aware of the closeness between Danny and Lindsay. A closeness that was adorable to watch, that was good for support, but that possibly could go too far in moments like this.

"I'll take care of her, don't worry," she told him then.

Like Stella had expected, Danny didn't simply turn around to leave her apartment again but instead remained where he was standing, giving her an unsure look.

"You should go home now, you need some sleep yourself," Stella said softly, offering a smile. "I'll make sure she'll go to bed as well soon and you can come over again tomorrow. But for now you should get some rest."

Still Danny didn't seem entirely convinced. Then he sighed though and nodded. "But if something happens..."

"Then I'll call you, of course," she promised. "Now say good night to her and make sure you get into your own bed. You can see her again tomorrow."

"Yeah, sure." Nodding again, Danny released another sigh before he headed into the living room. Lindsay was sitting on Stella's couch, obviously still unsure on what she was supposed to do at her friend's place. She looked up at him with slight insecurity, making Stella wonder if there was another reason for that.

"I'll head home now," he told her with a supportive smile. "I'll see you tomorrow. Try to get some sleep." With that he embraced her gently and placed a kiss into her hair before he got up again. Once again he gave her a look over before he followed Stella back to the door.

"Make sure she really gets to rest. Or at least that she stops torturing herself with all those thoughts," Danny told her, already standing in the hallway outside the apartment.

Stella nodded. "I promise. We'll see you tomorrow."

A few moments later, she returned into the living room where Lindsay was now lying on the couch on her side, curled up in a ball. The sight instantly touched her heart. She was glad to know her friend was safe at her place now instead of being at some random bar or somewhere else. She would keep her promise and make sure that she would ease the young woman's pain, even if it was just a little bit.

"Hey kiddo," she said softly, kneeling down next to the couch in front of her. Gratefully she found Lindsay looking up at her and into her eyes instead of avoiding any eye contact. "So it's just you and me then, having a girls night? Sounds good to me." Carefully reaching out, she ran a hand through her friend's thick hair. "Listen, I think it's a good idea you're here now. You don't have to talk if you don't want to. But I'd like you to lie down somewhere better than on my couch. My bed is big enough for the both of us. So how does that sound to you- I'll give you something to change and then we'll go to bed and see if we can catch some sleep?" With a friendly wink, she added, "And don't consider saying no, you know I won't let that count anyways. You wouldn't either."

A light smile lit her friend's face at her last comment. Nodding, Lindsay slowly got up into a sitting position again. Stella got up as well to head over into her bedroom, knowing that the young woman would follow her without contradicting.

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Stella was still in her bathroom while Lindsay was already dressed in the plain tank top and short pants her friend had given to her for the night. She had to admit she was at a point where she could barely keep her eyes open. The day itself but mostly the emotional events had been exhausting for her. She knew there would have been no way for her to fall asleep in her own four walls, all by her own with no one around who could offer her support or comfort for the case she would need it.

Lindsay also had to admit that she was glad that Danny had picked her up at the bar and had taken her to Stella's place. Much she had also wished to stay together with him, even more after feeling the incredibly intense support coming from that kiss they had shared. She understood the reasons why he had made them stop, but still she was convinced that the motives behind said kiss were more than pain and longing for closeness.

Currently she was too exhausted to think about why exactly she had kissed him though. And what the fact that he had kissed her back could mean. Also the short conversation with him and the support Stella was showing didn't change that her mind was still clouded with pain, guilt and anger. Still her body seemed to be in a constant state of shivering, caused by exhaustion but also by the extreme feelings she was experiencing.

Carefully she climbed onto the bed and wrapped the blanket around her petite body. She sat down, resting her back against the headboard of the bed.

And there she was, sitting on Stella's bed, for a moment confronted by quiet. Lindsay knew she couldn't completely avoid those moments in which she had to think. Immediately she felt the lump return, with a force that caused new tears to rise in her eyes. Rubbing her hands over her eyes, she tried to fight them back. Even after all those years, crying was still showing weakness in her opinion. Of course there had been many times she had told people that crying was fine, especially Stella she had told that. Listening to her own advice though was a lot more difficult.

Sighing deeply, Lindsay closed her eyes and rested her head back against the wall behind her. Those emotions she was struggling with weren't easy to handle. Someone once had told her that time would heal the wounds that had been caused by the nightmare she had to go through. Some of those wounds obviously couldn't heal though. Years later, the memories weren't as paralyzing as they had been the time after it had happened. Still they were so painful that the emotions seemed to tear her apart, that being all by her own was almost unbearable, that she was searching for closeness and support so desperately and at the same time wanted to keep people away due to the fear she would get hurt once again.

"I think sleeping in a sitting position can't be that comfortable."

It was Stella's voice that caused Lindsay to open her eyes again. The blinks she made couldn't prevent the tears that had been rising from rolling down her cheeks as she did so. The look Stella gave her stopped her from reaching out to wipe the tears away to hide them though. Her friend knew her too good, just as she knew her.

Stella walked over to her and joined her in bed. She didn't say a word for the following few minutes, instead waited for Lindsay to speak. She was aware of the fact that her friend didn't need her to say anything to know how she was feeling and that she wanted her to talk about exactly that; about what was bothering her at the moment. There was no way she could get away with the explanation that everything was alright; Stella knew it better. She herself knew what a traumatic experience could do to a soul and how easily the pain could come back. Especially after a horrible event like the one from earlier.

"I wish I could have done anything to protect her," she managed to say then. The first sentence always was the most painful one, but she knew after that it would be a lot easier. "I wish I had seen him coming in and could have reacted faster. I wish I could have shot him before he shot her." She shook her head. "Again I have been the lucky one. Like back then. Why me? I don't get it."

Stella nodded. Reaching out, she gently took Lindsay's hands into hers in a supportive gesture. "I'm glad you were that lucky," she said softly. "We all are. I can understand it must have been horrible for you this morning. That it brought everything back. But as painful as it is, we can't rescue everyone. We can't be prepared for every situation."

Lindsay sighed deeply, allowing the tears to run free now. "I know that, but it's so hard to understand. After the shooting back then I promised myself that I'd always try my best to never be helplessly watching someone being killed again. I know back then I couldn't have protected my friends. I was a teenager myself. But...I can't stop wondering if I could have saved this woman in the diner today. If I could have done anything different."

"I understand you, Lindsay," Stella replied, gently squeezing the hands she was still holding. "But that also reminds me of something you told me a while back. Do you remember when I was telling you that I wish I had seen what kind of a man Frankie was earlier? That I wish I would have done something against him the moment I found out he put that video of us online?" When Lindsay nodded, she continued, "You told me that I couldn't have expected he'd turn out to be the horrible person he was. That otherwise I'd always have to expect the worst from every person and from every situation. This counts for you as well. You couldn't be sitting in this diner with the fear a man with a shotgun would come in every moment. You can't be prepared wherever you go. It's not possible. I know it takes long to understand that. But let me tell you that with the time you start to believe it as well."

Lindsay glanced back at Stella in silence, thinking about her friend's words. She was willing to listen to advice, in every situation, no matter how difficult it was for her to accept those. In moments like this though, Stella was the perfect person to talk to. Because her friend could relate to her. She understood the pain and the fear and also the guilty questions she had to deal with. She simply understood. And so every advice was more than just an attempt at helping her. It was help coming from someone who could understand how difficult it was to follow what seemed to be so logical to everyone else. With the best possible effect.

"Maybe one day it'll work for me as well," she said then with a tiny smile.

Stella nodded satisfied. "It will." With that she released a deep sigh and moved to lie down. "And now I think it's about time to sleep. I almost had to force Danny to head back home and sleep a bit as well, but I only got him to do that with promising I'd make sure you got some sleep as well."

Lindsay chuckled lightly. "Alright. I think you might be right with that."

She lay down as well, wrapping the blanket a bit tighter around herself. Stella reached out to switch the lights off so they could get the sleep all of them needed.

Still the room was silent. But now it was a lot more bearable. Lindsay knew she could rely on the support she got from Stella and Danny. Still she didn't know how she would be feeling the next morning. But for now it didn't matter.

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**Preview: The next morning. How will Lindsay feel? What will Stella suggest? Will Danny come and visit them?**


	3. Being There For You

**A/N: Aww, thanks so much for the lovely reviews! And also huge thanks to everyone who's reading and adding my fic! Thanks also to lily moonlight for reading the chapter already! Special thanks to afrozenheart412, Storywriter, ioanhoratio, sucker-4-SMacked and lily moonlight!**

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****Chapter 3: Being There For You**

It was nothing particular that caused him to jerk awake. Blinking a few times, Danny tried to remember where he actually was. Sitting up in a straight position, he released a painful groan. No surprise every inch of his body was aching; obviously he had fallen asleep on his living room couch.

Running a hand through his hair, he narrowed his eyes at the bright sunshine that was finding its way into the room through the uncovered windows. It was still early, but the sun was already rising, colouring his apartment in a comfortable reddish tone.

The beauty of the early morning though he didn't care for in any way. Glancing at his watch, he found it was barely 7 am. To his luck he had the day off, but even if that wouldn't have been the case, no one would have been able to send him to work. There were other things to do. Things that were a lot more important to him. More specifically people. Like Lindsay.

Getting up with yet another groan, he walked over to the nearest window to rip it open. Greeted by the fresh late summer air, he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath with the hope it would have a refreshing effect on him.

It didn't. The moment his eyes closed he got an image of Lindsay in his mind again. An image of her exhausted eyes, filled with pain because of what had happened earlier the day before and because of the memories of her past that were returning so forcefully.

Shaking his head to clear his mind and fight down the once again rising lump in his throat, he stared at the view in front of him. Somewhere out there was Stella's apartment where she and Lindsay would possibly still be asleep. Or at least he hoped they were. He had to admit he had been close to staying at Stella's place as well. He knew his decision to send Lindsay to her had been the best to make. Otherwise things could have possibly gotten out of control a bit. But this didn't mean he didn't feel the urge to be around her as much as he even could.

He wanted to make sure she got better, no matter how. It had been his rational mind that had told him to head home though; after some sleep he would be a much better support. Also if someone could understand Lindsay and be there for her, it was Stella.

With yet another sigh, Danny closed the window again to head to his bathroom. A cold shower wouldn't make him feel any better. But he could get dressed already to follow the invitation and head over to visit Lindsay again, just like Stella had offered to him.

* * *

The night hadn't been calm and relaxing for Lindsay. A couple of times she had woken up, luckily without waking Stella up as well. Once again her night had been filled with nightmares, making it impossible for her to sleep longer than a couple of minutes or hours.

It was early in the morning now and due to the sunrays that found their way into the room and the fact she wasn't that tired anymore either, there was no way she could fall back asleep again. Instead she was lying on her back, staring towards the ceiling, once again being forced to think. Quiet always had this effect on her. She thought. A lot. She couldn't help it.

Once again all those nagging questions found their way into her mind. Why had she been so lucky? Could she have done anything different? She knew no matter how often she would mentally repeat those questions over and over again, she wouldn't find an answer for them. She also knew that Stella was right. She had used exactly the same words when her friend had been torturing herself with thoughts about how she could have saved herself in front of Frankie; there was no way to be prepared for every possible situation. It was impossible and she was aware of that. Really accepting that though was a lot more difficult.

"It's hard to not think, isn't it? No matter how much you tell yourself you shouldn't."

Once again it was the soft voice of Stella that caused Lindsay to snap out of her thoughts. Turning around, she found her friend watching her. She hadn't even noticed how she had switched the soft light on the bedside table on again.

"It's getting better," Lindsay answered with a light smile.

Stella smiled back at her. "I know how long it takes to get out of those deep holes again. But that's what you have your friends for." Her smile widened lightly. "I think one of those friends will show up here again very soon. I barely got him head back home last night."

Knowing that Stella was talking about Danny, Lindsay blushed lightly. "Yeah, he's a very caring person," she agreed.

The flushing of her friend's face hadn't stayed unnoticed to Stella. She remembered what she had witnessed said night before; the slightly awkward tension between the friends that were so much more than just friends in her eyes.

"Did something happen?" she wanted to know.

Lindsay blushed even more. Immediately memories of the night before returned into her mind. Memories of how glad she had actually been when Danny had come to pick her up at that bar she had visited but where she had actually not wanted to be. She remembered how he gently taken care of her, how grateful she had been for that. And how much she had been longing for more closeness, for the support she needed so much but would never ask for. Which had led to a kiss she didn't know whether to regret or not. Stella didn't know about all that. But she was willing to listen and Lindsay knew that if someone understood and didn't judge, it was her.

"I kissed him," she answered quietly.

"You did?" Stella asked, not entirely surprised though. "When? Last night?"

Lindsay nodded. "Yeah, after he picked me up at that bar. I've told him about my friends and...it just happened. I kissed him." Her face reddened more and more. "I shouldn't have done that. I didn't mean to make such a step, but I couldn't help it. He said he didn't mind but...would he have said anything else in that situation?"

"I think if someone is honest, it's Danny," Stella answered, even though she also knew said friend would never hurt anyone who meant so much to him. "But I don't have a doubt that he didn't mind that. Did he kiss you back?"

Lindsay's face looked like a tomato at this point. "He did, but I think that's kind of an instinct, right?"

Stella couldn't help the light laughter that escaped her at the way her friend was still in denial. "Now that I doubt," she said. "So he said he didn't mind it, what else did he say?"

Lindsay shrugged lightly. "When I apologized after he made us stop, he said he didn't mind and that he liked it but that he made us stop because the situation wasn't right. I told him I didn't do it because I want to feel better, but he said we should wait anyways."

"But that sounds good me," Stella told her friend. She hadn't expected any other reaction from Danny; of course he had enjoyed the kiss, but Lindsay meant too much for him to risk the soft bond between them by simply following his longing for her. "He wants to give you time to get better, so you know what you really want."

"But...I wanted to kiss him," Lindsay replied, shaking her head at herself with a groan. "I don't even know why I'm telling you that now."

Stella laughed. "Come on, kiddo, I know you two have a big crush on each other. Of course you enjoyed this kiss. But I think he's right. You mean much more to him than kissing and some casual sex. And that's what it possibly would have led to. I know what you mean to him and what he's thinking about you, so don't doubt what he's saying. Give the two of you time. And be glad he pulled back, because I think all it shows is that he cares and that he's not after his own wishes but also thinks about you."

Despite the fact she still looked rather uncomfortable, Lindsay chuckled lightly. "Now that you explain it like that it even makes sense."

Stella nodded with a satisfied smile. "It does." She glanced at the alarm clock that was sitting on her bedside table. "Speaking of Danny, knowing how much he actually cares for you I don't have a doubt he'll show up here soon. I have to be at work in a few, but I think he'll be at your side for the rest of the day. And I doubt he'll go anywhere else."

Lindsay chuckled again. "Now that's something I wouldn't mind."

Stella winked at her, already moving to get up. "See, that is what I meant." Half way she had headed across the room to head to the bathroom when she stopped once again, turning around to Lindsay who made an own attempt at getting up. There was more she had to say.

"Lindsay, there's something else I've been thinking about," she told her friend. "I know how much better it feels when you're not alone with all those thoughts. If you want you can stay at my place for a while, until you're sure you don't mind being at your own place anymore. Ah, wait." Rising her finger, Stella stopped Lindsay before she could contradict. "I don't want you to say anything else but yes now. You let me stay at yours until I got my new apartment. I think it's my turn to over you shelter until you feel better. I'd be happy if you stayed here for a while." With another wink, she added, "Also I like having a roommate and I couldn't imagine anyone better than you."

Hearing her friend's offer, Lindsay felt a wonderful warmth spreading inside her that was still so new to her. Since what had happened to her friends, she hadn't been able to form any kind of a close, emotional relationship to women even though deep inside she had been longing for a real friendship. Now with Stella there was a bond uniting them that made her think of her more like a sister than a female friend. That Stella meant her offer and wouldn't accept a no she didn't have a doubt of. And so she nodded.

"Thank you," she answered.

Stella nodded with a warm smile. "Now lie back down and sleep a bit more until Danny shows up here. You have my key, so if he comes over, ask him to help you with getting some of your stuff over to my place."

With a chuckle in response, Lindsay lay back down again, wrapping her blanket around herself. Starting a day off after such a rough shift was much better than she had expected. "I will. And thanks again."

Stella laughed. "I think you thanked me enough now. Have sweet dreams. Possibly of certain men you like to kiss."

Playfully rolling her eyes, Lindsay waited until Stella had left the room. Snuggling back into her pillow, she decided to follow the advice and sleep a bit. And possibly Danny would indeed appear in those dreams. Or later at her door.

* * *

The next time Lindsay woke up she didn't have to struggle with yet another nightmare. Instead it was the nagging sound of Stella's doorbell that caused her to jerk awake. It took her a few moments until she understood she was still at her friend's place. Just for a moment the realisation she was alone caused the all too familiar uncomfortable feeling to rise inside her.

Stella had been right once again. The imagination of being at her own place again caused her to shudder. Now she had the prospect of her friend coming home after her shift, and possibly Danny who was just ringing the doorbell with the intention to spend the day with her. Distraction wouldn't solve her problem, but it could prevent her from thinking, at least for a while.

Quickly she got up and made her way over to the door. Half way while passing the tall mirror in the hall, she realised that still all she was dressed in were the tank top and short pants. She was even walking on bare feet. But it was too late to rush back and get dressed again, so she decided that if Danny was the way Stella had described him, he wouldn't mind.

Taking another deep breath, Lindsay opened the door, like expected greeted by Danny. She couldn't help but blush immediately the moment she got to face her friend who she had shared a kiss with the night before, who now knew so much about her past and who had gotten to see a side of her which he hadn't been the slightest bit aware of.

"Good morning," he greeted her. After he had given her a short look over, she noticed how his cheeks flushed a bit as well before he forced his eyes back up to meet hers. "I...uh, Stella told me to come over this morning. I have my day off and because you said...well, I thought maybe now that you don't have to work as well maybe I could come over and we could see how we can keep you busy." He blushed even more. "I didn't mean it the way it sounded, I mean...you know what I mean?"

Despite the inner state of shock and pain she was still in, she couldn't help but laugh at the clumsy attempts of him to come up with his reasons to visit it and with looking her into the eyes politely.

"Are you somewhat speechless or something, Messer?" she teased gently. A relieved look lit Danny's face at the realisation she hadn't understood him wrong. Or minded his visit. For Lindsay this was a relief as well; obviously he was just as nervous as her.

"And you're back to teasing, Montana?" he asked with a wink and a soft smirk. He nodded towards her. "Before I share my detailed plan of entertaining the country girl with you, I'd suggest you get changed though. Not that I'd not like to see you run around like that all day, but I won't let you go out into public like that."

"Are you getting jealous here?" she asked back with a wink.

"Me and jealous? Nah." Danny shook his head. "Just taking care of you, country girl."

Shaking her head playfully, Lindsay sighed. "Fine, let me get dressed and you can reveal that secret plan of yours. Also Stella told me that while you're here already, you could help me to get some of my stuff over here."

Danny raised his eyebrows in surprise. "That means you'll stay here for a while?" he wanted to know.

"Yes," Lindsay answered with a smile at the suggestion her friend had made earlier.

"Nice of her," Danny replied. "Now hurry up, I'll wait here for you."

Still with a smile, Lindsay headed back into the bedroom while Danny waited in the living room. Had she wanted to stay away from those people who cared so much about her, now she was grateful neither of them had allowed her to push them away or believed her attempts at making them everything was fine. In fact nothing was fine and she still wasn't close to feeling better again.

She knew it would take a time until the events from the day before would be handled and pushing her memories away far enough so they wouldn't affect her on a daily basis would be even more difficult. She couldn't tell how much she would be able to not follow her usual way to deal with painful moments like that and would actually allow her friends to stay at her side. She would try to accept the support. As good as she could. Even if she just let them distract her for a while. Deep inside she knew that things wouldn't be that easy either.

* * *

**Preview: Danny and Lindsay spend the day together. Will she talk to him?**


	4. Pure Honesty

**A/N: Huge thanks to everyone who's reviewing this story! Also thanks to everyone for reading and for adding this fic to your favourites and alerts! Thanks to lily moonlight for having a look at the chapter! Special thanks to sucker-4-SMacked, afrozenheart412, Storywriter, brokenandlonelyangyl and lily moonlight!**

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****Chapter 4: Pure Honesty**

The living room was bright with tall windows, white walls and light brown hardwood floor. Sitting on one of the thick couches, Danny was staring at the coffee table in front of him. Its glassed surface was glistering in the rising sun. It was a nice view how the glass created all those surreal silhouettes on the wooden floor.

But even though he was watching, Danny's full attention was resting on what was happening next door. The door of Stella's bedroom was almost closed, only a small slit allowed a view inside. But even if he had gotten the chance to have a full view, he wouldn't have tried to spot Lindsay while changing clothes. No matter how much something inside him was urging to get a look.

There was this tension in the air. A tension that was preventing him from doing any step into the direction of trying more. Lindsay needed support and he knew this support didn't include physical intimacy. She needed time. Both of them did. And he would give it to them, no matter how long it would take them to move a step further. That they would he didn't have a doubt. Not after that kiss. Not after what else he had been feeling apart from her pain.

Pain. Still he could see it in her eyes. Even when she had been laughing, teasing him a bit. He was glad to see her tease him. But this didn't change the expression he still got to see in her eyes. An expression filled with pain. Pain caused by events from the previous day and memories from the past. So much he wished he could do more than offering support. But currently that was all he could do; being at her side. He couldn't solve her problems. He could just ease the pain a bit.

So deep in his thoughts Danny almost missed how the bedroom door was opened completely again and Lindsay returned into the living room. It was a slight cough by her that caught his attention. Like following an instinct, he jumped up from the couch, causing her to chuckle.

"No need to get all excited, it's just me," she told him with a light wink. A wink that couldn't hide what there was really to see in her eyes.

"I have to say nice appearance, even though...I never saw those clothes on you before," he replied with lightly raised eyebrows. It was only small talk once again, but if there were deeper talks supposed to come, the situation would tell them.

Once again she chuckled. "Stella allowed me to use something of her clothes," she explained. "Because mine smell like the bar I was at." She blushed lightly.

"Fine, then I think it's about time we head to your place later to get you something of your own stuff," Danny answered.

Lindsay nodded, offering a light smile. "You still have to share your plans with me."

"Oh, right," Danny replied with slightly overdone dramatic. "How could I forget? I was thinking maybe we could start the day with a walk in Central Park? I know, you're no tourist or something, but that early it should be kinda nice there. Best way to get some relaxing and to clear the mind."

Lindsay nodded. "Okay. Let's do that then."

Still there was clearly insecurity to feel for Danny. Lindsay was hesitant. For many reasons as he assumed. He could only imagine what a constant rush of emotions she had to struggle with. Also there was still this kiss and the fact they had done something that had been entirely denied by both of them before. Still her hesitation wouldn't stop his determination to show her she had people at her side.

* * *

Danny had been right. Like so often. Had Lindsay been unsure if she even wanted to leave Stella's apartment, now she was glad she had followed Danny's suggestion and had headed to Central Park with him. Lindsay was glad they had chose a part of the park where barely any people were around. Even though she didn't actually care, she wasn't too fond of her current appearance. Stella's top and pants suited her well. But the still present light red rings around her eyes and the expression that even she had noticed in them didn't belong to someone who enjoyed a day out in the park.

In silence they were walking next to each other for a while now. Staring down at the path they were following, Lindsay concentrated on the sound of pebbles squealing at every step. There was a tension in the air that was difficult to handle for her. She believed in what Stella had told her; that he didn't mind the sudden closeness they had shared the night before, that everything would be fine if they waited a bit. But she also knew that after the break down he had witnessed, he would like to know more.

With her arms crossed in front of her chest, she tried to ease the tension inside her that was making even thinking hard for her. She could feel he wanted to say something but she didn't dare to ask what.

"I think if we keep walking like that we'll set up a new record," Danny's voice interrupted her in her thoughts. Instinctively looking up at him, she found him smiling. "What do you say, why don't we sit down a bit and enjoy the view?" He nodded his head towards a near bench, not far away from one of the lakes they were just about to pass. "Just for a few moments."

"Sure." Nodding in agreement, Lindsay followed Danny. She sat down next to him on the bench, forcing her attention to turn towards the water that was glistering in the sun. Ducks were swimming around. It was a peaceful and beautiful sight. But even though Lindsay had promised herself that she would try to accept the support she was getting offered, it was still something she was struggling with.

She could feel Danny was watching her. His eyes were resting on her since they had left the apartment building, trying to find a way to get through to her. So far all they had shared was easy small talk. But she knew if she really wanted to let herself get what she needed, she had to go a step further.

"You know, you don't have to say anything," he told her then. "You know we can just spend some time together and if you want I can try to distract you somehow. My suggestion though is that maybe you just try to let it out." He paused for a moment. "Listen, I understand you, okay? I know how hard it is to show it when you're hurt. I can tell you a lot here, because I think if I was in your situation, I wouldn't like to talk either. I'd be scared I could revealed too much of myself. Or even worse, that I might break down and start to cry. I'd be scared to show a weak side of myself. I'd wonder if the person would think I'm weak then. And I'd be scared that if I talk about it, it comes back with even more force than it does already and that it hurts even more then. But sometimes what we think isn't what others think as well."

Lindsay squeezed her eyes shut at his gentle words. She knew how right he was with everything he was saying. It was exactly what she had tried to make Stella understand before. That even though her friend might be feeling weak or as a victim, it didn't mean others saw her the same way.

"I won't force you to talk to me," Danny continued then. "But I'd be glad if you gave me a chance to listen to you. Sometimes that helps a lot already. I think you know that. I know how much you've been there for Stella when all that shit with Frankie happened. I know you're aware of how important it is you don't shut everyone off but allow them to step in and help you. I don't see you as weak when you start to cry. I didn't yesterday. I have to admit I was shocked by what you told me. And it pains me to see you cry. But that's because I care for you. I want to be there for you. I want you to trust in me enough to allow yourself all those emotions. There is nothing you could do or tell me that could make me push you away or something. No matter what it is. You can tell me about it. Whenever you want to."

At this point yet new tears were finding their way through her tightly closed eyes. But Lindsay was aware of the truth of every word Danny had said. He and Stella wouldn't mind anything she would say, anything she would do. Even though she was a person who was very cautious when it came to trusting in people, she could feel the goodness coming from those two and that if she needed support, those would give it to her.

"It's so much easier to just shut up," she said then. Opening her eyes again, she allowed herself to look at him. Danny nodded.

"It is easier," he agreed. "It's easier to hide somewhere, or to go somewhere than to actually face it. But after all it'll return to you again, no matter how far you try to run."

Lindsay sighed, shaking her head. Once again the painful lump in her throat was rising. Something deep inside was urging her to use her chance and speak everything out that was bothering her. Doing that step though was so hard. It almost felt like jumping across a cliff. No matter how tiny the leap seemed to be to others, for the one at the cliff it was the most giant one to make, just with the simple thought in mind one could easily fall.

"I never chose the best ways to deal with it. With that damn guilt. And grief," she managed to say between clenched teeth.

"It's not easy. Especially not when you're so young," he replied softly. "Would you like to tell me how you tried to get over it?"

Lindsay couldn't help the tiny smile that was for just a second tearing at the corners of her mouth before her expression turned serious again. Danny had gotten her to the point where she was indeed willing to open herself up to him, in a very easy but very successful way; he had show her he understood in a loving and gentle way. This time she didn't hesitate and finally allowed herself to make the leap that was in fact so hard for her.

"I've tried to do it all by my own at first," she started then. "I've tried to not show something was wrong. No one believed me of course and they sent me to various therapists to make me talk, but I stayed quiet. It worked a while, but not good." She blushed lightly. "I tried to find support when I got older but that also didn't work." Her face flushed even more. "Not the way you might think. I've tried to start relationships to not be alone. It didn't really work though, I couldn't really bond to anyone close enough to make it work. I've not been sleeping around with random guys."

"I didn't think that," Danny answered. He gently squeezed her hands which she hadn't even noticed he had taken. Gently he let his thumbs rub over the soft skin of the backs of her hands and her wrists. The warmth coming from him seemed to spread through her entire body. It had a soft, calming effect on her. It was a warmth that touched her heart, that made her feel that her decision to come to him had been right. Instinctively her eyes followed the movements of his fingers while he stroked her and once again her cheeks flushed.

"The scars healed pretty well," she almost whispered. When he looked up at her again with a questioning look, her face reddened even more. "I've been so angry, you know. At this person who shot my friends. But...also at myself. They've all given me those looks. Like why did I make it and why not the others? I've...always been feeling guilty. Because I was the survivor. Because I was so lucky and went in that bathroom. Their mothers never said a word to me. Not a single one. Everyone stared at me. I was so mad. Not at them but at myself. I was mad because I haven't done anything that could have saved them."

"But what should you have done? You were sixteen. You were a teenager," Danny replied softly.

Lindsay shrugged. New tears were already forming in her eyes again. "I know. But I was still mad. One day that got too much for me."

"You hurt yourself?" he guessed.

Lindsay nodded lightly. In embarrassment, she looked down at their joined hands again. She wanted to explain, but she couldn't. And she knew she didn't have to.

"But you stopped that one day, didn't you?" he asked. "Does that mean you don't believe it's your fault anymore?"

Once again Lindsay shrugged. "I think I know that back then I couldn't have done anything different." Her cheeks seemed to be burning at this point. "But...well, I could have maybe saved this woman."

She could feel how Danny tensed at her words. She was aware of how good he knew her and seemed to understand her. His hands tightened around hers a bit when he spoke again.

"You got the wish to do it again?" he wanted to know.

"Well, heading to the bar got me distracted," she answered without saying a clear yes or no. She knew he understood anyways and the way his expression got even more serious revealed that to her. Mentally she cursed herself for blushing more and more.

"I'm sorry," she said then, lowering her gaze once again. "You might think I'm totally crazy. I'm sorry."

Carefully she peaked up at him, just to see him raise his eyebrows in surprise. "Why should I think that?" he asked in confusion. "I told you I wouldn't judge anything you tell me. There's no way I would be thinking that." Once again giving her hands a light squeeze, he made her look up at him completely. "Listen to me, okay? I want to be there for you. Just like Stella. Nothing of what you just told me would change that. I'm glad you were so honest to me. All I want you to do is to keep that going. Don't go to those bars if you feel that urge again. Come to me. Call me, even if it's the middle of the night. Or go to Stella if you don't want to come to me. Just go to one of us. Don't deal with it all by your own again, okay? That's what you have us for and I want you to keep that in mind."

Danny was talking softly and gently to her. Still the urging in his voice reached Lindsay. She knew he was serious about wanting her to go to either him or Stella and ask for help if she needed so. Neither of them wanted her to keep her pain to herself. Or to punish herself for something that in their eyes wasn't her fault in any way.

For a moment, Lindsay looked up, allowing her gaze to wander across the lake next to them. The sight was just as beautiful and peaceful as it had been before. Before though there had been this thick pain sticking in her chest, wanting her to collapse in the middle of the park and cry. Now slowly, very slowly another feeling was finding its way to the surface. A feeling she had already discovered the previous night and in the morning when Stella had offered her to stay.

Hope. Not hope that thoughts and memories would disappear and never come back. It was hope that there was a chance she wouldn't have to hide in a small room for days, not able to face any human being. It was hope that she wouldn't get to a point where she would try ti punish herself for everything that seemed to be her fault in her eyes. There were people who would pull her out of this room. It was hope that she wasn't alone in all this and that she had people who didn't just want to help but even understood.

"I think we should get my stuff to Stella's now," she said then, turning back to Danny and once again a tiny smile lit her face. "And just so you know, I might really call in the middle of the night."

Danny smiled back at her warmly. "Call me. It's perfectly fine to me." Once again he squeezed her hands, holding them for yet another moment before he released one of it, still keeping the other one in a secure grip when he got up.

Together Danny and Lindsay continued their walk through the park. Once again they didn't speak. Still things had changed, just a tiny bit, but they had changed. The awkwardness and hesitation had been pushed aside to make place for true support and a connection that was so needed in moments like this.

* * *

**Preview: Stella talks to Mac about the current situation. Danny and Lindsay spend another close moment together where he offers her support again.**


	5. Talk To Me

**A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who's reviewing this fic! Also thanks for reading it! Special thanks to afrozenheart412, lily moonlight and Smacked Hard!**

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****Chapter 5: Talk To Me**

Walking past Stella's office, Mac threw his usual look inside. Usually they exchanged a smile and he would continue his way. This time though, Mac stopped. Instead of busy, he found Stella sitting at her desk, staring at nothing particular in front of her. Whatever she had in her mind though didn't seem all too good. He could see it in her eyes; she was worried because of something.

Not hesitating another moment, Mac entered her office. A slight cough he had to make to catch Stella's attention, who looked up at him in surprise.

"Hey Stella," he greeted.

"Oh, Mac, hey," she greeted back, giving him a smile. Immediately feeling she was caught, she added, "I'm sorry, I've just been thinking about something."

"It didn't seem like whatever you've been thinking about wasn't anything good," he said, closing the door to sit down in the chair across of her. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Glancing back at Mac, Stella couldn't help the tiny smile that lit her face at the caring expression she found in the man's eyes. There was something about their team that never failed to impress her. It was what had made Lindsay allow her to stay at her place after Frankie had attacked her. It was what made Danny track her cell down and not sleep for a whole night. They cared for each other. It was a deep friendship, in some cases even more than that, that was uniting them and she was incredibly grateful for that.

"It's because of Lindsay," she answered then, knowing that if she could talk to someone other than Danny about this situation, it was Mac.

"She's still affected by the shooting from yesterday morning?" he asked, his face turning serious immediately.

Stella nodded. "Yeah, not only that though. Mac, she told me about what happened with her friends a while ago. I know you know about that as well."

She saw how Mac's expression softened at bit. He had obviously had the same suspicion like she had the day before. "It's brought back all the memories I guess."

Again Stella nodded. "Danny has picked her up at a bar. Because she was afraid to be alone at home."

Mac frowned at her words. "No surprise. I know that feeling."

"The reason why no one could send you home after what happened to Claire," Stella continued for him.

"Yeah." Mac was quiet for a moment before he added, "Where is she now? She has her day off."

"I think Danny's taking care of her," Stella answered. "Lindsay's going to stay at my place for the next time so we don't have to pick her up at random places or the lab all night. But I barely got Danny back to his own place last night. He won't stay away from her for a second until I'll come back home."

Mac chuckled lightly at her words. "I can imagine." A light smile lit his face. "Looks like I don't have any reason to worry because of her then. She has some very supportive friends at her side."

Stella smiled as well lightly. "It's not just that." She sighed lightly. "Mac, she's like a little sister to me. It pains me to see her like that. I wish there would be more I could do for her."

"I think you're doing a lot for her already," Mac replied. "I know you, Stella. I know how much she means to you. And I also know how you treat people who are that important to you. You've been there for me a lot after what has happened to Claire. I know you're just as supportive over her. I think the fact that you're at her side and that you offered her a place to stay is all she needs right now."

Stella's smile widened lightly. "Thank you, Mac."

Mac gave her a light wink. "You're welcome. If you need anything though, let me know."

"I will." Stella watched Mac leaving her office again and heading back to his own. Still a light smile was lighting her face. What made their team so special was this bond that was uniting them all. There was a closeness all of them needed, especially in times like that.

* * *

"Nice place, Montana," Danny said when he followed Lindsay into her apartment. He was surprised to realise he had never been at her place before, despite all the months they knew each other already. He knew Stella had been living at this apartment for a while until she had moved into her new one. But apart from that he wasn't sure if anyone had ever been there.

"Yeah, it's nice indeed," she answered with slightly flushed cheeks. Keeping a close eye on her all morning already, it didn't stay unnoticed to Danny how once again her body language revealed she was closing herself off. Wrapping her arms around herself, she walked across her living room, seeming to be unsure on what to do.

"Is something wrong?" he wanted to know, deciding to not talk around the topic anymore. She had been open to him before; there was no need to pretend anything.

Lindsay shrugged. A shy smile lit her face. "I don't know. It's just...that constant change of emotions is kinda...exhausting."

"I can imagine it is," he answered. "So what do you think? We better get packing now, I have no idea how long you want to stay at Stella's but maybe we should pack more than a shirt and pants."

Lindsay chuckled lightly, giving him a grateful nod. "Yeah, that sounds like a plan. So if you'd follow me."

With that she led him into her bedroom. The next hour they spent with filling all of her suitcases with different kinds of clothes. Once again Danny could feel tension rising inside Lindsay. A tension that told him she was once again experiencing her emotions changing. It was a constant up and down. He knew he couldn't keep on distracting her forever, no matter how hard he tried.

"I have to admit I'm surprise by how much clothes you own," he told her, shaking his head playfully. He pulled the top drawer of one of her closets open, a smirk lighting his face. "Oh see, Montana even owns some pretty hot underwear." In faked shocked he pushed the drawer close again. "Sorry, I wasn't supposed to see that I think."

She chuckled lightly at his comment. When he turned around towards her again though, he found her staring at him with still a serious expression. Once again her eyes were saying more than words. Dark they were, darker than usually. And once again the hurt he could see caused him to shudder lightly.

With a light sigh, Danny walked over to Lindsay. Gently taking her hand, he made them both sit down on the edge of her bed. He could feel her hand tightening around his.

"You know what's crazy?" he asked her after a few moments of sitting there in silence. "Us humans, we have so many different emotions we can feel. No one of us would ever hesitate to not allow ourselves to break out into laughter, to show when we're happy or to show others that we love them. But when it comes to moments in which we're sad or unsure of ourselves, in moments when we just want to cry, all of the sudden we try to hide that and pretend we're not feeling that way."

Her eyebrows raised lightly at his words. "That's kinda thoughtful of you," she replied, causing him to smile.

"Yeah, see, there's more to me than just my big mouth," he replied with a wink, earning a soft chuckle from her. "I'm being serious though. No one of us would ever pretend we're sad when we're happy. Still we try to smile and say we're fine while we would like to do nothing else but break down and cry. I wonder why that is."

Lindsay shrugged. "Maybe because we don't want to bother others with those emotions. Because our goal is to feel good and we don't want to make others feel bad only because we feel bad. Also maybe we hope the pain goes away when we pretend it's not existing."

"But when Stella or I are sad, don't you feel that anyways? No matter how much we pretend we're fine?" he wanted to know.

She sighed. "Of course I feel it anyways."

Danny nodded. "Yeah. Because you care for us I think. Because there is more than a smile and words that tell you how someone is feeling. If a person knows you, you can't just pretend you're feeling fine when you clearly aren't, because they know how to read you to know what's really up. And if you notice we don't feel well, wouldn't you like us to come to you and tell us so?"

Lindsay sighed once again. "Danny, I know what you want to tell me with that."

"Then answer my question," he replied. "Wouldn't you want us to come to you and tell you what's wrong instead of pretending we're fine? Or would you rather want us to lie because you don't want us to bother you with our real feelings?"

"As if I'd want the latter," she answered, rolling her eyes. "Of course I'd want you to come to me. Why else do you think I kept on asking if you're okay after Louie has been beaten up?"

Danny nodded again. "Then why do you think we'd feel any different than you?" he wanted to know. "Why do you think you have to act like everything's fine while Stella and I clearly know it's not? Why are we here at your place and you pretend like you're okay and just dealing with changing emotions while I can clearly feel you'd like to just cry?"

Danny was aware of how close into her personal feeling he was stepping with everything he was saying. He could see the first tears rising in her eyes again. But this was the reaction he wanted to see. He wanted Lindsay to stop hiding those feelings.

"I said it before. Because maybe the pain goes away when you ignore it," she answered quietly.

"And does it work?" he wanted to know.

Lindsay sighed deeply, shaking her head. "Listen, why don't we just continue what we came here for?" she asked then, trying to add a determined, stern tone to her voice. "I'm not stupid, alright? I know what you're doing that for. But...can't you just accept I don't want to break down here and cry in front of you like a baby? You wouldn't do it either, no matter how wise you're trying to sound." She moved to get up, but his grip around her hands forced her to stay.

"So you think I should rather take what you're giving me then?" he wanted to know. His voice had gotten louder as well, causing her to look at him. "You think I should just wait until you come to me? I know you said you'd do that, but you know what? I'm not wise, I know that you say a lot, but when it comes to actually doing it, you shy away. I know that from myself. And one thing you can believe me. I won't wait until you head to another bar and stay there all right with all those pervert guys who'll wait for you to leave said bar so they can hit on you. And I also won't wait for you to go and hurt yourself because you get mad at yourself again. So you'll have to bear with me and my questions, because I won't just go and let you be miserable."

Lindsay stared back at him, not replying anything. Danny could feel his heart racing at his own words. He didn't want to hurt her with anything he had said. But he knew in this point he, Lindsay and Stella had something in common. They didn't like to admit what they were really feeling. All of them also knew what this denial led to. So the last he would do was allowing her to do the same mistakes he had done so many times when he had a chance to interfere.

"I'm not saying that to get my will," he added then in a much softer voice. "I want to help you with showing you that I understand. You've been so open to me before. You've been so honest with admitting all that, and you can be proud of yourself for that. But if I see you shutting me or others off again, I need to step in. I know you're mad at me for doing so, because I'd be mad myself. But after all you know that speaking it out and letting it out has a much better effect that swallowing it all down with the hope it'd go away."

Once again he gazed back at her in silence, waiting for any reaction. This time he didn't have to wait long.

"I've hoped it'd never return," she said quietly, once again trying to control her voice. Her next sentence came out in nothing more than a sob though. "I've dealt with all that for so many years in the past. I don't want to go through that again."

"I know," Danny replied quietly before he closed his arms around her, holding her tightly against him. Relieved he found her not pulling back but instead wrapping her arms around him, pressing herself against his chest. "It's unfair, I know."

"I've hoped it's over. I was so glad when all the nightmares stopped. I didn't have them for years," she sobbed into his shirt, the fabric getting wet with her tears. "I have enough of that, you know. I have enough of feeling like a victim to this bastard because he didn't have anything better to do but come into a diner and shoot four innocent people. I have enough of feeling guilty because I was so lucky. And...I have enough of feeling like I could have saved this woman with noticing this guy before he could shoot her. I have enough of all that shit! I don't want to go back to all the nightmares and that shitty pain. I don't want to be afraid to be alone somewhere because I could do something to myself again. I thought here in New York I could finally forget it all."

"Yeah, I understand." Gently rubbing her back, he tried to calm her down, knowing that even if he succeeded, moments like this would occur again over the days and weeks, hopefully not months. There was a lot more he wanted to say. He wanted to tell her that he and Stella would make sure she wouldn't do anything to herself, that they would be at her side and would talk her out of anything that could make her situation worse for her. That they'd be there to listen when the pain got too much and she couldn't handle it anymore.

But he knew he didn't have to tell her anything of that. She knew it. She knew she wasn't alone in this situation, but knowing that alone didn't help. He was aware of how much they would have to go after her, that the discussion from earlier wouldn't have been the last of those sorts. They'd have to make her talk over and over again until she'd do it by herself.

But he was willing to do so. He didn't care how hard it would be, how many times thing would be painful for all of them, for different reasons. And while holding her tightly and mentally deciding that he would try his best to show her he was there, he surprised himself with the pure determination he could feel. Never before he had felt such a strong wish to do something for someone else, no matter what it meant. He was a loyal person who would give everything for the people that meant something to him. With her this wish to be there for others had reached a new state though. He wouldn't let her push him away. Even if he had to go after her every day for the next years.

And so they sat on the bed, Danny holding Lindsay in his arms. Hours seemed to have passed when it had only been minutes until she pulled out of his arms again, drying the last rolling tears with the back of her hand. Slightly shy she looked at him, not embarrassed this time though.

"I'm sorry for ruining your shirt," was the first she said to him after yet another moment of silent looking at each other. She nodded at his shirt which was now covered in wet spots and with slight bits of her make-up.

"Oh, don't worry, I think that looks kinda stylish," he replied with a soft smirk.

She chuckled lightly before she smiled herself. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied, gently stroking through her curly hair. "And now lets get those suitcases packed finally or Stella will kick our butts."

Once again Lindsay chuckled, following Danny when he got up from the bed. Once again the tension had been eased. Even if it was only for the next minutes or hours. But no matter how exhausting those moments would be for either of them, he was determined to give her this support. Over and over again. Because for them this was part of caring for someone who meant so much to them.

* * *

**Preview: Danny shows Lindsay support again before they head back to Stella's apartment.**


	6. Friendship And More

**A/N: Thank you so much again for all the lovely reviews! Also thanks to everyone who's reading this story and for adding it! Special thanks to afrozenheart412, Storywriter, SMacked Hard, lily moonlight and pretty7!**

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****Chapter 6: Friendship And More**

_They were giving her those looks again. Tearing her eyes away from the people in the street, Lindsay stared at the ground in front of her. Instinctively she wrapped her arms around herself a bit tighter, trying to ignore the fact she wasn't alone._

_Surely no one of them was doing it on purpose. No one would want to hurt her, at least she hoped so. But whenever she was appearing somewhere in Bozeman, people stared at her. Her, the only survivor of a brutal shooting in a diner, right in the middle of their peaceful little city._

_Lindsay didn't know if they were aware of what their looks were doing to her. The painful memories, the shock state in which she was still in, were hurting her more than anything. Nightmares were keeping her awake every single night._

_But to make it even worse, she was also confronted with all those looks. The looks from her parents who were constantly concerned, not knowing how to handle their traumatised daughter. The looks of people in the city, knowing about what had happened to her and what she had witnessed and feeling the urge to discuss every single bit of it over and over again. And the looks of her friends' parents, mainly the mothers, who wondered why she was fine and their daughters weren't. Why she had been lucky and not them._

_Those looks pained her the most. Not only did she feel like a car accident; it was horrible, but no one would look away, even though they knew it wasn't polite to stare. No, she felt guilty. Incredibly guilty. Because she knew silently those parents wished that their daughters had been the lucky ones. Not her._

_Biting her bottom lip, Lindsay walked faster, staring at the ground in front of her. Meeting anyone lately was torture. How much she wished to just go home and hide in her bed where she wouldn't have to see anyone or to speak to anyone._

_Unfortunately it wasn't that easy. And once again it was rising inside her. This pain. This guilt. The anger. Anger because of what had happened. And because she didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to do to make her parents stop worrying. She didn't know what to do to stop people gossiping. And especially she didn't know what to do to make her friends' parents stop giving her those looks that made he wonder why this man couldn't have found them all. So far she hadn't found an answer for all those questions. For how to behave. So all she wished was to just hide, somewhere where no one of those people would be bothering her._

--------

Danny had just brought the third of Lindsay's suitcases down to his car. He wasn't sure on how long Lindsay was planning to stay at Stella's place, but knowing Stella they'd need at least those three suitcases filled with clothes. Lindsay had offered to help Danny carrying them but he hadn't been able to resist the urge that he as the man had to do that for her.

When he came back upstairs to her apartment, he couldn't help the feeling that he was grateful for the fact he had gotten the chance to be so close to the young woman. She meant so much to him; more than he would ever admit to anyone, even though he got the suspicion that Stella was well aware of his feelings for Lindsay.

Even more grateful he was that she had decided he was worth her trust, that she had started to not only tell him about her painful past but also about how she dealt with it and how much it was still hurting her.

Danny hadn't been in a traumatic situation like that before. Still he had had to suffer a lot of pain himself and he could understand how difficult it was to let people in, to allow them to be a part of those emotions. He also knew how much it actually helped when one made this step and that talking felt better than dealing with all the pain on his own.

He was glad he had made her talk. Of course it pained him to see her cry but even more it pained him to see her struggle with her emotions alone. He was aware of the fact that even if he had been successful with making her open up this day, things could look completely different again the next day. It would be a hard piece of work, but it was worth it in his eyes. No matter how difficult it would be. She was worth it.

"I think three suitcases definitely are enough," he said when he made his way across her living room over to her bedroom once again. He wanted to add more but stopped the moment he walked through the bedroom door.

"Has been a rough day, huh?" he whispered with a soft smile at the sight in front of him. Before, Lindsay had been sitting on the edge of her bed. Now she had lain down, deep asleep. He wasn't surprised by that. She had had two emotional outbursts in the last couple of hours. Situations that were exhausting like running a marathon.

Carefully he approached her. Wrapping his arms around her petite form, he pulled her onto the bed completely. For a moment he wondered what he should do best. Leaving her alone in her apartment was definitely no option; there was a reason why she would stay at Stella's place and also he didn't want her to be alone when she would wake up again. Which also ruled out his plan to head into the living room and wait for her to wake up. Just as he wouldn't wake her up now.

And so Danny joined her on her bed to lie down next to her. Facing the sleeping woman, Danny watched Lindsay for a while. The first impression one would have was that she looked peaceful and relaxed; just the way it had to be. But if he spent a closer look at her, he could see that her features were everything but relaxed. She was frowning occasionally, her eyes moving in sleep as she released tiny sighs and started to shift lightly.

Was she just having a nightmare again? Was she just dreaming? He couldn't tell. And he also didn't know if he should interfere or not. She didn't seem scared, didn't seem to feel well either though. He was convinced she needed sleep, even if it was just for a few minutes. It was impressive what sleep could do to a person's mood and feelings.

So he decided to let her sleep. But still he couldn't prevent himself from staying away completely either. Carefully reaching out, Danny let his hand stroke through her thick hair. Lightly Lindsay tensed at the gentle touch, releasing another little sigh. He continued stroking her, softly enough to not wake her up. First her hair that felt like pure silk in his hand. Then he allowed his fingers to brush over her rosy cheek, once again making her stir lightly. But like he had hoped, her formerly tense features relaxed a little bit, her rapid eye movements slowing down.

"Everything's alright," he whispered softly when he moved closer once again. He was just about to reach out for her blanket when she blinked, gazing up at him through half opened eyes with a slightly confused expression.

"Danny?" she asked sleepily, obviously surprised by the sudden closeness.

"Go back to sleep, it's all fine," he told her gently, already moving to get up but she grabbed his arm, preventing him from doing so.

"Stay, please," she replied, already drifting off to sleep again.

"Okay." He lay back down, but still her fingers remained closed around the fabric of his shirt tightly.

"Can you hold me?" she asked, her eyes closed again already.

Danny looked back at her in hesitation. For a moment the question if following her wish was a good idea appeared in his mind. What if she would be angry at him when she woke up again? Then again this was different to the situation from the night before. This was not about kissing. Or sex. It was about comforting. Holding her. Possibly what Stella would do as well if she was in his situation now.

"Of course," he replied then, gently wrapping his arms around her. He couldn't help the intense warmth that rushed through him as she snuggled closer against him, taking full advantage of the comfort she could get through this tight hug. Holding Lindsay in his arms, Danny covered them with the bits of her blanket he could reach. Barely he had lain down himself when the exhaustion from the night before caused him to slowly fall asleep as well.

* * *

Sitting on her living room couch, Stella was looking at her cell in amusement. She had just arrived at home a few minutes ago, surprised finding out that neither Danny nor Lindsay were around. Also there was nothing that indicated that the two had brought some of Lindsay's clothes over to Stella's place already like she had expected her and Danny to do.

So deciding to go the easiest way before she would start to worry for nothing, she had called her friend, just to find out that obviously she had woken her up. She had woken her up while being asleep at her own place, together with their friend.

Stella had to bite her bottom lip to not break out into laughter at the phone already, hadn't been able to control it though after hanging up. From what she had understood from what her very embarrassed friend had told her, Lindsay and Danny had headed to the younger woman's place to get some clothes and other stuff which she'd need for the while she'd stay at Stella's place. Obviously she had fallen asleep then and he had stayed as well.

Stella could only imagine how that had looked like. And how her two friends had felt the moment they had woken up again and found out they had possibly slept for most of the day. She couldn't blame them though. She knew Lindsay surely had had some nightmares over the night, even if she hadn't dared to wake her up, despite everything she had told her before. She could also imagine that Danny hadn't really been able to sleep either. Much rather he had possibly tried to make it morning so he could get back to her.

Shaking her head in amusement, Stella laughed once again. Still she wondered when those two would finally make the huge step and admit what everyone was pretty much aware of for a quite long time now. She wouldn't force them though. Especially not now when she and Danny had other goals. They wanted to make sure Lindsay got back to her happy self as quickly as possible, without having to deny what she was really feeling deep inside.

When the door to her apartment was finally opened, she couldn't prevent herself from quickly getting up. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a moment to fight down her still almost overwhelming amusement and the urge to laugh at the cuteness that were those two.

"Hey, there you are finally. I was already getting worried," she greeted Danny and Lindsay as they stepped into the living room, both busy with trying to get three well filled suitcases inside. Stella didn't miss Lindsay's still red cheeks and the embarrassed look in Danny's eyes.

"Sorry, obviously stress has gotten in the way," Danny apologized, setting the two suitcases he was carrying down. "I think I...also should head back home now. Get some stuff done before I have to be at work again tomorrow. It's the early shift, you know."

"Sure," Stella replied with a smile. She watched how he turned his attention to Lindsay who gave him a smile of her own.

"Thank you," she said, once again with a slightly shy tone in her voice. "For...you know, everything."

"No problem," he answered with a smile. Embracing her quickly, Danny turned to Stella once again. "Now it's your turn again." To Lindsay, he said, "I'll see you tomorrow. Get some more sleep if possible."

Lindsay chuckled. "I think I've slept enough, but I'll try."

A few moments later, the two women were alone in their momentarily shared apartment again. Together they had managed to get the suitcases into the bedroom and were now about to unpack them.

"I'm sorry I took so much stuff with me," Lindsay said after a while, shaking her head at the realisation of how much she had actually taken with her. "It's not like a plan on staying her forever or so."

Stella chuckled. "Lindsay, I told you to stay at my place for a while, okay? I didn't say for only a few days. If you stay here for lets say the next few weeks or even months, that'd be more than fine to me."

Lindsay couldn't help but blush at her friend's words. "Thank you," she said. "But...I really don't want you to think..."

"Stop it," Stella interrupted with playfully strictly. "I don't want to hear anything like that. I'm happy to have you here. If you didn't have to pay rent for your own place, you could just move in here with me for now. I don't mind how long you'll stay. It's entirely up to you. You'll stay here until you're really sure that you want to go back. And I don't care how long that takes. The longer the better."

Lindsay smiled lightly. "Thank you."

In silence they continued working on the clothes. Stella was grateful to see that her friend obviously currently wasn't bothering herself with all those painful memories and thoughts. She knew exactly what her friends was thinking about though.

"So you and Danny have fallen asleep at your place?" she asked then. There was no need to talk around topics; they could be honest to each other. "What did you do that was so exhausting?"

Barely Stella could prevent herself from laughing at the way Lindsay's face immediately turned bright red.

"We didn't do anything," she answered. "We just...well, obviously I fell asleep and I asked him to stay. And to...well, to hold me. And obviously then he fell asleep as well."

Once again Stella had to bite her tongue to not laugh. Clearly she could imagine Lindsay falling asleep, especially after such a rough day and night. She could also imagine how Danny had wanted to stay at her side which obviously had led to yet another bit of closeness between them. A closeness that seemed to have succeeded, at least for the moment; apart from her slight embarrassment, her friend seemed to feel better currently.

"You don't have to defend yourself," Stella told her. "I'm glad to see he's showing so much support. I've never had a doubt that Danny would be there for people who mean something to him. He's a very loyal and very caring man."

Lindsay nodded, seemingly turning her attention back to her clothes. "Yes, he is. He's a wonderful friend. What?"

"You know it's not just that, right?" Stella asked. Another person she would have never asked such a direct question. With Lindsay it was different. Her younger friend trusted in Stella, just as much as she trusted in her. There were no secrets between them.

"You mean what with that question?" Lindsay asked back, once again blushing bright red. When she saw how Stella raised her eyebrows at her lightly, she sighed. "Okay, right. Yeah, at least for me he's not just that nice friend. I kissed him for a reason. Sure, wouldn't have done it that easily under other circumstances maybe. But still. I've feelings for him, yes, and it was nice to wake up in his arms. It made me feel better to be around him, also that he listened to me. And that he didn't give me strange looks or got offended when I told him...how I was feeling yesterday."

"I see," Stella answered. "Are you still feeling that way?

Lindsay's face reddened a bit more. "I think I'm better. It's fine."

Stella nodded. She resisted the urge to question Lindsay even more about this topic, making sure she really wasn't planning on falling back into old habits. In fact Stella knew there wasn't really much one could do in such situations; if it was that easy to control, people would act differently a lot more often. Instead she decided to go back to their previous topic, avoiding to slide back into a more painful one.

"I hope you know that he wants exactly that himself?" she asked instead. When Lindsay gave her a disbelieving look, she added, "Come on, kiddo. You ever looked at him when he's around you? It's just a question of time."

"Yeah, maybe," Lindsay replied, shrugging. She glanced at her watch, yawning lightly. "Looks like he was right. I need some more sleep, especially if I want to not fall asleep at work tomorrow."

Stella smiled. "Are you sure you want to go back to work already?"

"Sure." Lindsay nodded. "I don't want to sit around at home all day." With playfully sighing, she added, "And I promise I'll stop when it gets too much."

"Good. I see you and me are speaking the same language now," Stella replied with a wink.

A few moments later, the two women went to bed, both of them already tired again. Stella had to admit she wasn't too fond of the idea that her friend would go to work again the next day. Then again she knew that Lindsay would tell her or Danny when she needed a break or wanted to go home again. They would keep on eye on her during her shift. And she was determined to make sure they would somehow manage to work together.

* * *

**Preview: Danny calls Lindsay. Later she has a conversation with Sid at work who gives her advice.**


	7. Good Advice

**A/N: Thank you so much again for the sweet reviews! Also thanks for reading of course! Special thanks to afrozenheart412, SMacked Hard and lily moonlight!**

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****Chapter 7: Good Advice**

The next morning when Lindsay woke up, Stella had already headed for work. Her friend had been called in to a crime scene much earlier. Carefully she had made sure that she didn't wake the younger woman up. She needed her sleep, especially when nightmares prevented her from getting it anyways.

Waking up, Lindsay couldn't deny the uncomfortable feeling that was immediately rising inside her as she discovered Stella wasn't around. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes, trying to shake the nagging feeling off. Before she had been all on her own, she had been living at her own place long enough. She didn't need a babysitter now.

Then again this situation was different to the one before. It wasn't like she couldn't handle being on her own. Possibly it was even good for her a bit. She knew pushing feeling and thoughts aside didn't work and only got her situation worse.

More she was afraid of what those thoughts that immediately appeared in her mind again, could do to her. There were people who let all their pain out, who screamed it into the world. Others blamed others for what they had to go through. Even though she wasn't convinced that especially the latter was good for dealing with pain either, she envied those people. Because barely she could open her mouth to speak out how she was feeling. How she was hurting inside. And how much she was blaming herself for everything that happened to her. Like the shooting. Like the murder of the woman from two days ago.

It hurt. It hurt so much. And she couldn't help but blame herself. No matter what people told her. Always there it was, this nagging question. What could she have done differently? What could she have done to safe her friends? To safe the woman? It was boiling inside her; a strongly increasing anger against herself.

Lindsay knew what this had led to. She had started hurting herself to punish herself for what was her fault in her eyes. She was scared to get to this point again if she was alone and got the chance to think too much. She didn't want to get back to those times.

"And I won't," she told herself determined. Glancing at her alarm clock, she nodded. It was about time to get up. In a bit she would be at work. There she wouldn't have time to think. There she would have to work, would have to concentrate on anything but the pain she was feeling. And for the case she needed something, there were still her friends around.

Sighing lightly, Lindsay moved to get up. She winced as the shrill sound of her cell all of the sudden echoed through the previously quiet room. Pressing a hand against her chest where her heart was pounding rapidly, she reached out to grab the loud phone that threatened to fall off the bedside table every moment.

"Monroe," she answered without checking the caller ID, expecting Mac to be at the other end. The more surprised she was by the voice that actually spoke to her.

"Morning Montana," Danny greeted her. "Uh...Stella told me you have to work today. I hope I didn't wake you up. It's still quite early. If you want me to call later again..."

"It's fine, you didn't wake me up," Lindsay interrupted him, immediately with a soft smile lighting her face. She didn't know how he did it, but a few words coming from him were enough to cheer her up already. Or at least to lighten up her mood a bit. "Do you want something?"

"Yes...no...I mean, actually I just wanted to ask how you are," he answered and it felt like she could hear him cursing himself for the way he was stammering. It was a side Lindsay didn't know of him. Usually Danny was one of the most self confident people she knew, making comments whenever he felt like it and making women to run after him without him needing more to do than offering a smile.

But if someone knew that what was to see to others wasn't always what was happening inside a person it was her. Many times she had pretending like everything was fine while she didn't feel fine at all. She had smiled at people while her inside had been crying. So who knew if he was as confident as he seemed to be around others? It was easy to seem strong in front of people that didn't mean too much to you. When emotions were involved, even the strongest person could start stammering and blushing. Even a man who could have every woman he wanted.

"I'm better I think," she answered then. Usually Lindsay would have followed her instinct and would have said she was good. But with Danny and Stella it was different. Those two had seen her from another side than only her happy and excited one. They knew more about her than most other people did. There was no need to lie.

"Are you sure?" Danny asked.

Lindsay chuckled lightly. "Why did I know you'd ask that?"

"Because I know people tend to say things are better than they really are," he answered honestly. "I know that from myself."

Lindsay nodded to herself. She was aware of that. She had witnessed this behaviour when Louie had been beaten up a while ago. Back then she had done exactly what he was doing now. She had forced him to admit what he was really feeling. "I'm getting better I think. Still a bit scared of being alone with myself. But I have to be at work in a few anyways."

"You know, you can still always call me. No matter when," he told her.

Lindsay's smile widened a bit. "Yes, I know. And I might, don't worry."

"Fine." He sounded relieved. "So, I'll see you in a few then?"

"Yep. And don't worry. I'm really better than yesterday," she reassured him.

"Good to know," he told her softly. "See you later then."

After hanging up again, Lindsay remained sitting on the large bed for another moment, looking down at her cell. In fact things were indeed a lot different to before. Even when she was seemingly alone, she wasn't. There was always someone, only a call away. Like Danny. Or Stella. And knowing that was a big relief for her.

* * *

When Lindsay arrived at work, she was convinced to let this day make her even stronger, make her mood even better. Sure, one couldn't be in the best mood while you had to work in a job like that. What you got to face wasn't anything enjoyable at all. But she wouldn't spend a whole day alone. This would possibly help her.

Unfortunately her wish and expectation didn't come true. Soon she had arrived and found herself working with Mac. That usually was good. Stella and Danny had tried to make her work with them, which hadn't worked. Mac, who also knew about what was bothering her and why, was a good companion as well though.

And then they had been called to their crime scene, not knowing what was expecting them. The sight of the young girl, lying in a dirty, lonely alley, shot, was the least she had expected. Immediately she felt the strong sickness rising in the pit of her stomach, the lump in her throat that made breathing difficult. She had seen the look Mac had immediately given her. But when he had asked her if she wanted to go back and work on something else, she had shaken her head. She knew she couldn't run away. It was part of the job. No matter how much it hurt. She had to face it.

"There is no reason to rush anything," Mac had told her. "You could work another case. Or do some paperwork. Especially two days after you have been involved in such a situation yourself."

But again Lindsay had shaken her head. "Mac, it has nothing to do with that. It happened years ago. I can't run away in front of it. I tried, trust me. It's part of the job. I won't do paperwork."

Mac had still given her a concerned look, had let her stay though. Lindsay had started processing, then had been working at the lab. The moment Sid had called her though to tell her about the COD, things had changed once again. With every step she got closer to the morgue, her carefully constructed walls that she had tried to keep on standing all day, were starting to collapse.

With every step, the realisation that possibly she should have taken Mac's advice increased. But Lindsay didn't want to admit that to herself. Not yet. She was doing this job, all parts of it. No matter what this meant for her. She wouldn't run away because she couldn't handle a situation. She had to. After all those years she had to. She had to face her fears, had to work on them. She wouldn't run. Not again.

And so she had entered the room, trying to ignore the body and instead to smile at Sid when she stepped over to him.

"Hey Sid, what do you have for me?" she asked, forcing the shaking in her voice down as good as she could.

Sid gave her a look, slightly raising his eyebrows. "Hey Lindsay," he said then. "Yeah, I found out a bit of what might have been going on in this alley..."

With that Sid started to explain. But as much as Lindsay forced herself to listen, it was barely possible for her. Her eyes wandered back to the body of the girl. The shotgun wound in her chest was cleaned now, seeming to be nothing else but a large, dark, round gash. She had seen something like that before. Not only at crime scenes. And once again they rushed back, all the images. Before she even knew it, tears started to rise in her eyes. The last bits of her already weak wall collapsed as she couldn't prevent the tiny sob from escaping her, followed by a couple of more which she couldn't control.

Barely Lindsay felt how she was grabbed at her shoulders and led away from the table. Her view turned blurry, her body started to shake as her sobs turned into crying without her having a chance to stop herself. Willingly she led whoever had decided to take care of her guide her away and over to the other end of the room where she was gently ordered to sit down.

But as much as she had promised to herself to never break out in tears at work, she couldn't stop it. The moment her self control had broken and the first tears had started to flow, there had been no way back anymore. It felt like a flash was exploding inside her, releasing all the pain that was hidden deep in her, all the tension that had steadily increased since the moment she had appeared at the crime scene. As much as she would be embarrassed afterwards, currently her tears were finally giving her the release she had needed during the last couple of hours. The knot in her stomach, the lump in her throat; all that eased with every tear she allowed to fall.

Lindsay didn't know how long it took her to calm down. Slowly, very slowly, her tears dried again. Another few moments later, she remembered where she was, and found Sid sitting in front of her, watching her with concern while she forced the last few sobs that were escaping her down again. It was the point where her face blushed bright red at the realisation what she had just shown of herself at work.

"Are you feeling better?" Sid asked softly, offering her tissues.

"Yes, thank you." With her cheeks still flushing, Lindsay dried her face. "I'm sorry, Sid."

"Why?" he asked. "What should you be sorry for?"

Lindsay sighed. "For crying in here. That was highly unprofessional."

"You think so?" Sid looked at her in surprise. "I think everyone of us has been affected by cases before. Especially after experiencing something like you did."

"You mean the thing at the diner?" she wanted to know.

"I mean whatever else is bugging you," Sid answered. When he saw how her eyes widened, he added, "I don't know what it is. I also won't make you tell me what it is. But I'm doing this job for a long while. And I know you for a while as well. I see how you react to some people I have down here. Even if you don't realise that yourself. And that is nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Yeah, you can't hide feelings, I know," she replied, glad that at least her voice wasn't shaking anymore. "But I should be professional enough that I don't start crying here. This is part of the job. I can't run away in front of it."

"Mac asked you to do something else but not this case, right?" Sid wanted to know. "He told me you might not have an easy time with this here."

Lindsay nodded. "It's because I...well, something happened in the past." She offered a shy smile. "I seem to share that with a lot of people lately."

Sid smiled back at her warmly. "If you don't want to share it, that's fine. If you want though, I'm listening."

Once again she nodded. And once again she felt the wish to share, despite herself. "I've been in a shooting before," she told him. "In a diner, back home. I've been lucky, hiding in the bathroom of the diner. My friends weren't as lucky."

"They got shot?" Sid asked, his facial expression turning even more concerned.

"Yes," Lindsay answered quietly. "So...even though it happened such a long time ago, it pains me to see victims in their age. They remind me of the way I found them. And...the thing from two days ago...it brought it all back."

"No surprise," Sid replied. "Maybe Mac's idea to work on another case wasn't that bad then."

But Lindsay shook her head. "No, it's part of the job. I chose this job, I'm doing it for a few years now. I can't always run away. I have to face my fears. I have to do this part of the job, no matter what I want. I can't go and choose cases that are easier for me to handle. You have to be professional, and that means keeping your personal problems out of it."

"Does that work for you?" Sid wanted to know. "Can you ignore all the feelings you have regarding a victim? Especially regarding young girls?"

Lindsay hesitated for a moment. Then she shook her head. "Unfortunately not."

"I'd rather say fortunately not," he told her. "Because if you were able to shut off feelings, you wouldn't be human anymore. You'd be a machine. It's impossible to shut off feelings completely. Look at me. I'm doing my job a couple of years longer than you, but still I'm getting affected by victims I get to see. Often they remind me of my daughters. Like this girl we have here now. Every day I pray that I won't have a young girl on my table again. You can't get rid of it. And in your case...this shooting from two days ago brought back a lot of memories. That is only natural. I'm not surprised you started to cry down here. In fact I'm surprised it didn't happen much earlier. Like I said, it's a normal reaction in such a situation. You're human. You went through something only two days ago that would have shocked all of us. But it reminded you of a traumatic experience you had to go through. No one can expect that you're just going back to the job and do it without any signs of affection. It's impossible. And it's good that way."

"Why is that good?" Lindsay asked.

"Because the moment you wouldn't feel anything and could just do your job without any kind of emotions you should better quit," Sid explained. "Because the moment a shooting doesn't bother you and a victim doesn't make you feel sorry for them or their families anymore, those brutal criminals are no danger for you anymore. At this point you'd possibly be just as cold as them." He paused for a moment. "I can understand how you're feeling. You're afraid you couldn't be professional enough. But that's not true. Giving a case away because you can't handle it at the moment is more than okay. Especially now. I think Mac wouldn't even mind if you stayed at home for a while. Take such offers. It doesn't make you seem weak or not professional. It just makes you human."

Looking back at Sid, Lindsay thought about the older man's words. So far she hadn't seen it from this point of view. And the more she thought about it, the more she knew he was right.

"Thank you, Sid," she answered then, offering a smile.

Sid smiled back at her. "You're welcome. So if I was you, I'd go to Mac and ask him if he's still making the same offer. Work on another case."

Lindsay nodded. "And maybe I should take someone else's offer and make a little phone call."

Sid's smile widened. "I'm sure Danny will be happy about that. And if you feel like it, you can also always come to me. I'm here and listening to you."

Staring back at Sid, Lindsay couldn't help but laugh. She didn't even try to wonder why he knew she wanted to call Danny. What she knew though was that she would possibly come back to Sid's offer and indeed ask him for a talk again. Still she found it difficult to ask for help. But a couple of people had shown her support already and she knew if she needed them, they would be there. She just had to ask.

* * *

**Preview: Lindsay takes the offer and talks to Danny again.**


	8. Exchanging Stories

**A/N: Thanks so much for reviewing! Also huge thanks to everyone for reading! Special thanks to ioanhoratio, lily moonlight, afrozenheart412 and SMacked Hard!**

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****Chapter 8: Exchanging Stories**

The locker room was one of the very few places at the lab that was quiet, where one could actually be alone with their thoughts. Barely anyone came in there, usually the room was dark, a bit cold. Perfect for moments in which one wanted to be apart from the world outside as much as even possible.

For a moment, Lindsay stopped as she entered the locker room. She took a deep breath as she checked if there was indeed no one around. Still she was in a state where she didn't want to meet anyone who could ask nosy questions. Or would see her react to all those feelings that were boiling inside her.

The room was nothing else but empty, quiet and cold. Fitting to how she was feeling deep inside. Releasing a sigh that wouldn't give her the relief she wanted, she headed over to her locker. Once again she was grateful it wasn't too close to the entrance door, so she would hear people first before they would see her.

Like usually, she glanced at the locker next to hers. Clearly she could remember how she had found out Danny's locker was next to hers. Her first reaction had been rolling her eyes as she had realised she would possibly meet that man who had had nothing else to do but teasing her at her first day every morning. Soon she had learnt that this man though wasn't annoying at all. And now she was grateful for the closeness that was steadily increasing between them. A closeness she currently needed more than anything.

Opening her locker, she searched for her cell phone. Finding it, she sat down on the bench across of it. Resting her arms on her upper thighs, she glanced at the slightly glistering phone for a while. Gently she ran her thumb over the display as she thought about what to do next. What she wanted to do next.

He had offered to call her. Lindsay knew he meant this suggestion and that he was willing to listen when she would call. Still there was something holding her back. Over all the years, she was used to dealing with her thoughts and feelings on her own. She had tried to not show how she had actually been feeling, feared of her family asking even more questions, of being send from one therapist to another. She had started to pretend she was fine. And somewhere along the line, she had almost started to believe that herself.

Asking for help; this had become hard for her. She wasn't used to it, it was easy like that. She wasn't used to going to people, to ask them for support. She wasn't used to calling someone or going to someone and ask if they could listen to her. Instead she was used to pulling away, hiding for a while until she seemed to be able to control her emotions again.

Danny wanted her to call him when she needed to talk. And currently Lindsay felt the urge to talk to him. She wanted to hear his calming, warm voice telling her she didn't have to worry. Because he understood and he knew how she was feeling but that he also knew she would feel better again soon. She wanted to hear this from him. Or just anything else he had to offer.

But still all she could do was staring down at the cell, not able to unlock it and press the speed dial. Still there was this wall around her she couldn't get over. A wall that prevented her from actually following the advice she was getting from those people who cared for her. Instead there was this inner voice that was telling her that she shouldn't bother the others. This was her problem and she should deal with it.

"You know, staring at your phone won't make it call anyone," a familiar voice caused her to snap out of her thoughts. Looking up, she found Danny leaning against the row of the locker. In an instant, Lindsay blushed.

"I didn't hear you coming in," she answered, trying to flash him her usual smile. The way he kept on glancing at her told her he didn't buy her smile though. He knew her too good already. Without responding to her reaction, he walked over to the bench and joined her. In silence, they sat next to each other for a while. Lindsay turned her attention back to her phone. She knew they wouldn't talk. But she still didn't enjoy facing the one she was talking to.

"How is your case going?" he asked then. She could feel he was watching her again.

"I told Mac to take me off it," she answered. Almost Lindsay could feel Danny's surprise.

"You did?" he wanted to know.

She nodded, still staring at her phone. "I've talked to Sid. He's told me that it wouldn't be unprofessional to tell Mac I can't work on it without it affecting me too much. I think he's right with what he told me." Carefully she glanced up at him, finding him watching her with a light, relieved smile.

"You talked to Sid? That's good," he said.

Lindsay shrugged. "Well, I started to cry as I was there, that's why." Once again she glanced at Danny, to see any reaction to her words. Still all she found was the gentle support in his eyes that despite the way she was feeling, gave her a certain amount of comfort.

"So he told you to ask Mac to get off the case?" he asked then.

"Yes." Lindsay nodded. "He told me I'd be fine and that you have to realise when it's crossing a line. So I went to Mac and told him it'd be better if I didn't work the case anymore."

"And what did he say?" Danny wanted to know. Lindsay knew he was aware of the answer, but he wanted to give her a chance to talk a bit, to make it easier for her.

"He said it's fine and that he's glad I was so honest to him," she answered.

Danny nodded. All the time he was giving her a gentle, soft smile. It felt good he was there. At first she had hoped no one would get anywhere close to the locker room while she was in there. Now she was glad about the company.

"What are you thinking?" he asked then, once again causing her to snap out of her thoughts.

"Nothing special," she answered, like before instinctively smiling at him. He glanced back at her without a reaction, in silence studying her face. Once more she felt her cheeks flush at the way he seemed to try to read her mind.

"You know you can say it when you want to be alone," he told her then. "I won't force you into a conversation. You need to know if you want to talk to me or not. It's your decision. I just want to make sure that you know that you can come to me. Whenever you need me. The thing is, I know how hard it is to make the first step. It's not so easy to go and say what's wrong and that you'd like to talk. It's easier to pull back actually and wait for the case someone else notices it. Or until it goes away. It just doesn't go away."

Lindsay looked back at him, not responding. He was right and he knew it. He had offered to call him but he knew she wouldn't just grab her phone and do it. Or wouldn't just run after him to talk to him. She needed this gentle little push.

"If you want me to leave you alone for a bit, just let me know," he added when she still hadn't replied. He moved to get up, but almost in an instinct, she reached out. Resting her hand on his arm, she caused him to stop in his movement and remain next to her as she instinctively tightened her grip on him, making sure he really wouldn't go.

"It'd be nice if you stayed here," she said quietly. Without saying a word, he nodded. Gently he took her hand from his arm and into his hands. It was yet another soft gesture that was supposed to offer support and succeeded. Many people had tried to get through to her over the year. So far only Danny and Stella had been successful with that. Lindsay had her theory why she didn't hesitate as much around them as she had before.

Both of them knew from own experience how it felt like to struggle with things that weren't easy to overcome. They knew that a few reassuring words and promises that everything either wasn't that bad or would be good if she just waited wouldn't work at all. Same counted for pitying her. All she needed was the knowledge that someone actually understood, or tried to understand. To just not push her out into the world with the belief that if she ignored her past, things would be fine again. It felt good that her friends were offering her the advice she had told them to follow as well. And that they made sure she actually listened to them.

"I'm exhausted," she told him then. "I'm tired of being afraid to go to a crime scene, not knowing if it'll bring back all the old memories. I'm tired of feeling guilty. I'm tired of...all that stuff. Whenever things seem to be okay, something like that happens. And I'm tired of being the one who gets the support. I...well, I want to be the one supporting people. I don't want to be the one who gets into a situation that makes me feel like crap. I don't want to be the one everyone's concerned about. Or the one who breaks down crying at work."

"It's hard to accept when you're not in control over situations. When your feelings are stronger," he agreed.

"I hate not having the control," she whispered.

He nodded slowly. "I know."

Lindsay felt how he squeezed her hand gently which caused her to look up at Danny once again. Two days before, when he had picked her up at the bar and she had broken down in front of him, she had been scared that he could start feeling pity for her. For her, the poor victim of a horrible crime. Knowing that she had to go through this nightmare had been bad enough. Feeling even more like a victim only made it worse.

Nothing of what she had feared had actually happened though. Neither had he pushed her away after their kiss because he didn't share those feelings with her nor had he started to be uncomfortable around her or treat her the way she hated the most. And to her own surprise, everything seemed to be so much easier all of the sudden.

"When things get out of control," she said then, still looking at him. "What do you do? How do you try to handle it? When you can't do anything but watch, what do you do to not get crazy?"

Danny glanced back at her, thinking about his answer for a while. "There were a few situations like that," he told her, looking down at their still joined hands. "Mostly that happened with Louie. You know, he's got a talent for getting himself into trouble. One would never believe he's actually the older brother." He smiled, his face showing no hint of happiness at the thoughts though. "So many times I tried to step in and help him or protect him. I told him to stay away from all those people, especially from the Tanglewood Boys. He didn't listen to me and just a few days later, he was in trouble again. I could do whatever I wanted, I couldn't prevent him from doing the same stuff over and over again."

He paused for a moment. Lindsay could see an expression in his eyes she had seen before. Mostly during the time they had visited Louie at the hospital. Many times she had been there as well, for the case he needed someone to talk to. It was an expression that mirrored the one she currently saw whenever she looked into a mirror.

"We don't have to continue talking about that," she let him know.

Looking at her again, Danny shook his head. "No, you asked me a question and I'm here because I want to show you support. Like you did when I needed you." He smiled at her lightly. "So what did I do? Back in the past I got mad, I yelled at him. I was upset many times with him. How am I dealing with it now? I share my thoughts. Like I did all those times at the hospital. I let it out, share my feelings. It's painful and hard and I know I still suck at it. But I'm working on it and it's amazing how much it actually worked. Instead of being upset for days or weeks, it felt good to see people actually listen and understand. And apart from that everyone has their own little way to get cheered up again I think. You know, little things. Like when I'm frustrated or upset, I go to Central Park and run. I just run, until I get so tired I can't walk a single step anymore. It gets a lot of anger out of your system."

"I like to do the same actually," Lindsay admitted, blushing softly at the surprised look he gave her. "Back in Montana, when I couldn't stand people anymore, I headed out into the country. I walked for hours, maybe even for a whole day. Through the forest, along the fields, up a mountain. It felt good to actually do something." She blushed even more. "And out there no one sees you, so when I was really mad, I just screamed. I screamed until my throat was sore. Just to yell it all out into the world."

"I bet that felt good," Danny said with a warm smile. "I'm sure there are still places even here where you can do that. Maybe next time one of us feels so upset and angry because things didn't go the way they were supposed to, we could try and find such a place. Or run. Do you think we could do that together?"

Lindsay shrugged. "Maybe. Possibly better than sitting at home, doing nothing."

"So next time you're alone and Stella isn't around, you'll call me and we meet for a little running and screaming?" he asked. He smiled as she couldn't prevent herself from smiling at his words. "That's the way I want to see you. With that beautiful smile. So will you call me?"

Lindsay nodded. "I'll try, alright?"

"Sounds good to me," Danny answered.

Once again Danny offered Lindsay a warm smile and she felt how he gave her hands another gentle squeeze. It was hard to actually make a step toward to someone and ask for help. If someone knew that, it was him and Stella. This was the reason why they kept on pushing her gently. While she had offered her to stay at her place, he kept on inviting her for activities. One thing both of them had in common. They wanted to help her to find a way to deal with her thoughts and feelings. And slowly, ever so slowly, it started to work.

* * *

**Preview: Lindsay spends some nice time with Stella and then Danny asks her to meet him.**


	9. Doing It Together

**A/N: Aww, huge thanks for those lovely reviews again! Also huge thanks for reading! Special thanks to SMacked Hard, Storywriter, afrozenheart412 and lily moonlight!**

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****Chapter 9: Doing It Together**

When Stella had suggested that Lindsay could move in with her for a while, there had been no single moment of hesitation for her. This had nothing to do with the fact that after the traumatic events with Frankie, Lindsay had done exactly that for her as well. Stella could clearly remember how good it had felt to be around her friend for a while, knowing there was no empty place awaiting her after work. It had made it easier for her to accept the fact she couldn't work the entire day, the entire week and the entire month.

The reason why she had made this suggestion was because of exactly this experience; the feeling that someone was there. Stella knew Danny would have also offered Lindsay to stay at his place. She had seen how much he had actually wished to ask her as he had taken her to her place. But he had been responsible enough to not follow this wish, knowing that apart from their friendship, there was more between them already. Feelings that could go too far at the moment.

The prospect of her friend being at her place already was a nice one for Stella. Although they tried to meet as often as even possible, still work got in the way. Now they got the chance to spend even more time together than usually, which was what their friendship needed.

After a short stop at a shop, Stella was glad when she finally arrived at her apartment building. It had taken her a bit to get used to her new place and still she felt unsure sometimes at home. Mainly when she came back after work. Often she checked if there was really no one there already, although she knew there wouldn't. The experience with Frankie had left deep marks and she knew some things possibly would never change.

Quickly she made her way upstairs. As she let herself into her apartment, an immediate smile lit her face. The living room was already filled with a delicious smell coming from the kitchen. Stella knew Lindsay had arrived at home earlier as she had asked Mac to be taken off her case. So she had spent the rest of the shift with paperwork as nothing else had gotten into the way. Stella was glad her friend had made this step and had admitted she couldn't work on this case any longer. She knew this had been a big step for Lindsay and she was proud she had agreed to make it.

Like expected, Stella found her friend in the kitchen, standing at the stove. Lindsay was so busy with cooking that she didn't notice her presence and to prevent her from startling her, Stella gently knocked against the doorframe, causing her friend to snap out of her thoughts.

"Hey Stella," Lindsay greeted her, instantly giving her a smile. And almost instinctively, Stella tried to look behind this smile. From herself but even more from her friend she knew that a smile wasn't always meant to be a smile. Sometimes it was just supposed to cover what was really being felt by a person. This time though, it was a real, little smile and it filled her with a light relief. "I hope you like salmon with pasta. I haven't eaten that in ages and I thought maybe it'd be nice."

"Salmon? Wow, that sounds fantastic to me. I didn't know you like to eat it," Stella answered as she stepped closer.

Lindsay blushed lightly. "Actually I didn't eat it since the last time I've been in Montana. My Mom always makes it so well. I...well, I felt a bit homesick and thought maybe we could eat this. I don't only eat steaks and stuff. Or beer and buffalo burgers, like Danny says."

Stella chuckled. "I see. I'm sure it'll taste fantastically. Can I help you with something?"

"Oh yeah, you could take care of the pasta already, if you want," Lindsay suggested.

"Sure." Following the wish, Stella used the chance to throw another short glance at Lindsay. Still a soft smile was playing around the corners of her friend's lips. She could imagine that homesickness was the reason for this dinner she was cooking. Just like the fact that Lindsay hadn't been able to sit down after work and do nothing. This would have made her think. Too much thinking still frightened her, so she had kept herself busy; Stella knew this reaction only too good.

Around an hour later, the two women were sitting on the living room couch, the TV being switched on but being mostly ignored by the friends who had just finished dinner and were too busy with chatting to notice anything else.

"I've to admit I'd have never thought that fish and pasta can make you feel like you ate a whole cow," Stella groaned, setting the empty plate onto her coffee table.

Chuckling, Lindsay did the same before she crashed back against the back of the couch, resting her hands on her well-filled stomach. "That happens when you eat what's supposed to be for four people all by your own," she answered, causing Stella to laugh.

"On that you're definitely right," she agreed. "But that was just too good to not eat that much of it. You're an amazing cook."

In an instant, Lindsay blushed again. "Thank you. My mother always let me cook when I was younger. She's taught me a lot of recipes and things like that. I've been working a lot on the farm of my parents, you know." Her face seemed to redden even more. "Sorry for rambling."

"No, no, don't apologize," Stella replied quickly. Even though she and Lindsay were close friends for a while now, they hadn't shared too much information about their childhoods yet. Since she knew about what had happened back then, Stella had not wanted to question Lindsay about her past. Now she seemed to bring up it by herself though, and good parts this time. It was a nice chance to see those past years from another side.

"So you wanted to be a farmer as well back then?" she wanted to know.

Lindsay nodded, smiling shyly. "Yeah, that's also what my parents wanted I guess. They wanted my brother and me to run the farm one day and to that always seemed to make sense. I mean, to me it was the perfect job. I loved to be around all the animals, or in the fields. It's hard work but I always enjoyed it a lot. I liked everything they taught me and I thought it would be my dream job."

"And now you're a CSI in New York," Stella replied softly. "A lot has changed since then I assume."

Once again Lindsay nodded. Still she tried to smile. This time though, this smile was supposed to hide again. "Yeah. For me there's never been a doubt that I wanted to be a farmer. Until the...thing with my friends happened. I wanted to make sure things like that would never happen again. Or at least that I could get people answers. And as I got the chance to go to New York, I took it. I thought the distance between me and home would make me feel better." She paused for a moment. "Obviously some things follow you everywhere. No matter how far away you move."

Stella nodded in understanding. She didn't have a doubt that partly, her friend hadn't just moved because she wanted to work in her city of dreams but because she had tried to flee. Often people believed that if they were far enough away from everything that could remind them of their past and of painful experiences, things would get better. Just like they would if they kept on ignoring them, avoided thinking about them. It was supposed to feel like those experiences had never been made.

But soon reality caught up and soon people realised that there was no chance to actually run away. Somewhere along the line the past would find its way back to the surface.

Glancing at Lindsay, Stella found her friend staring down at her hands that were resting in her lap, clenched into fists once again. It almost seemed like she was shrinking, seeming to become smaller and smaller as the thoughts she had tried to push aside with cooking and chatting were coming back with full force again. Stella had hoped that with talking about the past on the farm she could have a conversation about a not so painful part of her friend's childhood. Unfortunately it hadn't worked.

"You know what's always good for cheering you up?" Stella said then. She offered a warm smile as she saw Lindsay looking up with a questioning expression.

"What?" she asked.

Stella's smile widened. "Let me quickly get us what I bought earlier. I almost forgot."

With that Stella got up and headed into the kitchen to grab the little bag she had bought earlier. Quickly she made her way back into the living room again to join Lindsay on the couch. Still with a smile, she handed the bag over to her. Still with a questioning look, the younger woman opened the bag and peeked into it.

"Chocolate?" Lindsay looked at Stella in surprise.

Stella nodded. "Yes. Chocolate. It's perfect against a broken heart for sure. I'm sure it also works in other situations." She watched as Lindsay carefully pulled the different kinds of sweets Stella had gotten for them. She knew that chocolate couldn't heal and couldn't wipe away painful thoughts. Still it was a way to distract her friend and according to the tiny hint of a smile, it seemed to work.

"That's again chocolate for like ten people," Lindsay said as she put all the amounts of sweet on the coffee table that was quickly covered by the different packages.

Stella grinned. "The more the better." Leaning closer, she winked and added, "And we don't have to tell anyone that we had so much chocolate. You know, girls and chocolate. Best way to spend an evening with your best friend." Taking one of the bars, she offered it to her friend.

Relieved she found Lindsay smiling as well now as she took the chocolate. "Fine, let's get us high with sugar," she answered. For a moment she paused, looking at the bar before she glanced up at Stella. "Thank you. Those moments here...dinner and chatting and sweets, I think it's much better than heading to a bar to get distracted."

"Absolutely," Stella agreed. Clearly she could remember she herself had said exactly the same sentence not too long ago. Back then it had been Lindsay who had been at her side, spending one evening after the other with her with all those little things that were already enough for feeling just a tiny bit better every day. "And you know, apart from all the girly things, you can also always come to me."

Lindsay chuckled lightly. "You sound like Danny. He's also always asking me to come to him when I need something."

"Well, I think we really have something in common," Stella agreed with a soft smile. "Because there is someone we both care for a lot. And we want to make sure the person won't forget that. And won't try to do it all by her own because she's afraid to take our offer and come to us."

"I won't forget it," Lindsay promised. "I'll try my best. Like you guys did as well." Once again she chuckled lightly. "It seems like we all have a lot in common. Either we're on the side of the supportive one or on the side of the one who needs to be pushed to say a word."

"Which is possibly the reason why we understand each other so well," Stella replied. "Speaking of Danny, how are things between you? If you want to share that with me."

Lindsay laughed lightly, shaking her head. "If you're referring to anything special, no, he is just being very comforting to me. He's listened to me a lot. And he offered me to take me out for a walk."

"Then I'd say you take that offer," Stella told her. She didn't have a doubt that Danny was extremely supportive of Lindsay and that he was willing to use every chance to be there for her. She knew those two were still a bit hesitant though as they were afraid to follow what else was uniting them. But there was a close connection between those two and she wanted to make sure that those two would find their way to each other. With gentle encouraging.

"I might really do that. Maybe," Lindsay answered and once again she blushed lightly.

"Definitely," Stella said, once again winking at her friend. She would make sure Lindsay would meet Danny for this walk and would also take his other offers. He was good for her, so much she had noticed already.

* * *

Lying on his bed, Danny was staring up towards the ceiling. It was late, but he couldn't fall asleep. Too much he was thinking. Thinking about her. He couldn't help but wonder what Lindsay was doing now. Surely she was spending some time with Stella, who hopefully managed to distract the young woman a bit after this once again hard and exhausting day. So much he wished he could also be at her side now. That he could have offered her to stay at his place. But his rational mind was telling him that this would speed up things between them. Things that needed time.

So deep in his thoughts, he almost jumped up from his bed as the loud ringing of his cell echoed through the silence of his bedroom. Taking deep breaths to calm his rapidly beating heart down, he reached over to his bedside table, immediately with the hope of a certain person to be the caller. A smile lit his tired face as he realised his wish had been heard.

"Hey Lindsay," he answered, forcing his voice down to not reveal how glad he was she was indeed calling him. He wasn't sure if such a light mood was what she needed now. He couldn't know why she was calling; just to chat or because she really had a problem.

"Hey," she greeted back and a rush of relief spread through him as he didn't hear the painful sound that had been covering her beautiful voice just a few hours earlier. "I hope I didn't wake you up. I've been talking to Stella and...well, I though I should call you."

"Oh yeah?" Danny looked surprised. She had been talking to Stella? "About what did you talk?"

"Well, I told her you offered me to go for a run in the park or somewhere else," Lindsay answered. He couldn't help but smile lightly at the hints of shyness in her words. "She said I should take the offer soon. And...well, I know our shifts will start at the same time tomorrow, so I was wondering if maybe...we could do that before work?"

"Sounds like a fantastic idea," Danny answered, not able to prevent a huge grin from spread all over his face. He had hoped she would get back to his offer. That she would so soon surprised him, in a good way. "So how does that sound, I'll come over to Stella's tomorrow morning at 6 and pick you up? I promise I'll choose a really nice place for us to go to. I think I've already something in mind."

"Care to share?" she asked curiously, causing him to chuckle.

"No, you'll have to wait til tomorrow," he told her, his grin widening at her soft chuckle.

"Okay then, 6 am here," she agreed. For a moment she was quiet but he could sense she wanted to say more. And he was right. "Thank you. For...well, for listening, for entertaining me, for...everything."

"It's my pleasure," he answered honestly. "Hey, we're just a great team, alright? You support me, I support you. Couldn't be any more perfect."

"Absolutely," she said and from her voice he could tell she was smiling as well.

A few moments later, he hung up and lay back down on his back again. Once again Danny wasn't able to just fall asleep. But this time he didn't mind. Still he couldn't help but smile. He was glad Lindsay had called and wanted to meet him the next day. It was just a little gesture, but it was a step into his direction. A step that would make it easier for him to be there for her. And he would make sure their little meeting would be nice for both of them.

* * *

**Preview: Danny and Lindsay meet and confess what they're really feeling.**


	10. It's All About Love

**A/N: Huge thanks for reviewing and for reading this story! Thanks also for adding it! Special thanks to afrozenheart412, Smacked Hard and lily moonlight!**

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****Chapter 10: It's All About Love**

It was just five a.m. when the alarm clock rang and woke Stella up. Just a short moment it took her to understand why she was woken up that early. It had been her who had set the clock. To make sure her friend wouldn't miss what in Stella's eyes was nothing else but a date. Even though it was meant to comfort, but she knew between those two friends was a lot more than just friendship.

"Hey Lindsay," she said softly, gently shaking her friend who was lying next to her, still deep asleep.

"What is it?" Lindsay mumbled into her pillow.

"I'd suggest you get up now. Danny will be here in an hour and pick you up," she explained.

"Already?" Instantly, Lindsay sat up straight, giving Stella a look that made her laugh.

"You still have an hour to get dressed and as you two are planning on some running, you won't have to dress up," Stella replied with a wink.

Lindsay rolled her eyes. "I didn't plan on dressing up either. It's not a date or something. Danny and I will only do some early morning sports."

"Yeah, sure, I know," Stella answered, not bothering to hide that she didn't believe her friend at all.

"It's true," Lindsay said with determination.

Stella laughed at the look her friend was giving her. "Listen, kiddo. You don't have to tell me that you and Danny are just friends. That there's nothing else between you. You were so honest to me yesterday and before. It's fine! No one has a problem with the two of you being together, alright? Enjoy it when you meet him. He's making you feel good and I think if I could choose a man for you, it'd be him."

"Yeah, but maybe he doesn't..." she started.

"No," Stella interrupted. "I want you to stop thinking like that. I know what's coming next. You're believing that now that you're admitting to yourself that you have feelings for him, he won't be feeling the same, am I right?" When Lindsay, nodded, she continued, "Why? You're seeing what he's doing for you. It's not just because you're his friends. But possibly I'm expecting too much here. Of course you don't see those looks he's giving you. The way he smiles whenever you show up somewhere. The way he would walk through fire for you."

Lindsay felt herself blushing. "Maybe you just want to see that?"

"Why should I?" Stella wanted to know. "If I wanted you to get together, that wouldn't be any problem. I could get you a guy in a couple of days. I won't though as there is a man who's fallen in love with you. Trust in me. Follow your feelings here, kiddo. You won't get hurt by him, you and I both know that."

Lindsay glanced back at Stella for a moment, thinking about her friend's words. That there was a connection between her and Danny she knew, she could feel it, it was undeniable. Still there were doubts; doubts that those feelings he had for her were the ones for a close friend, not for more. Then again she couldn't look into his mind, couldn't be as objective as Stella. After all Stella also didn't notice how close she and Mac were.

"We'll see," she said then. "I better hurry now."

"Yes, do that," Stella answered. With a smile she watched her friend getting up. She didn't have a doubt those two would soon admit what they were really feeling for each other. It was a big step for them both but the urge to clarify their situation would be stronger. It was only a question of time.

* * *

He had promised to be there at six a.m.. In fact he arrived at 5:30, just to make sure he really was in time. Dressed in sports clothes, Danny was sitting behind the steering wheel, staring at the front door of Stella's apartment building.

He had been hoping Lindsay would take his offer as he had suggested to meet. He knew how good running felt when one was upset. And screaming. Screaming it all out into the world, letting out all the frustration that was boiling under the surface.

A couple of times Danny had wondered why he was doing what he was doing around the young woman from Montana. Why was he showing so much support to her? Why was he constantly trying to be at her side? Why was he so honest and allowed her such a deep insight into his character while in fact no one actually got the chance to see anywhere behind his facade?

There were many possible answers for those questions. She was a friend. He liked her a lot. He wanted to be there for her as he could only imagine how she was feeling lately. Danny knew though that those weren't the reason for the strong wish to be at her side, to hold her when she needed it.

There was more. Much more. To the outside he had been denying what deep inside he knew for quite a long while already. He was in love with this woman. And he had gotten the physical evidence for that as she had kissed him a few days ago. Never before a kiss had felt like that; so warm, so intense, so right.

He wanted to be together with her; there was no question about that. He wanted to be there for this person who meant so incredibly much to him. If his own experiences could help her in any way, he wanted to share them with her. No matter what this meant for him.

It was a knocking sound that caused him to snap out of his thoughts. Shaking his head to clear his mind, he realised that no one else but Lindsay standing at the door on the passenger's side of the car, smiling at Danny. Blushing lightly, he reached over to open the door for her and let her in. She slid into the passenger's seat and despite his best intentions, he couldn't help but give her a look over. She was dressed in nothing else but plain sports pants, a tank top, with her hair bond together in a ponytail. For him she couldn't look any more beautiful.

"You're in time," she said with a smile.

"Of course, what were you thinking?" He winked at her. "How are you feeling today?"

Lindsay shrugged. "Fine I guess. Stella and I had a nice evening together yesterday and I slept surprisingly well. Still not perfect though."

Danny nodded as he pulled the car out of the parking lot. "It's not that easy to get back to normal."

"Yeah." Once again a light smile lit her formerly serious face. "So, where are we going to?"

Danny smiled as well. "You'll see."

"Oh come on, Danny, tell me!" Lindsay pleaded, earning a chuckle in response.

"No, you'll wait. Be patient, Montana," he told her with a wink.

Lindsay groaned. "You're doing that on purpose, right?"

"Absolutely," Danny teased back. With a smile he glanced at her once again. Still he could sense the tension that was torturing her and he was glad they had agreed to work some frustration off. Anyway she seemed to feel better which relieved him as well. She was making baby steps, but those steps were clearly noticeable to him.

Their car ride didn't take them long. Even though it was still early and the sun was just about to slowly rise between the tall skyscrapers, many people were in the streets already. Amused he noticed how Lindsay tried to find out where they were driving to. She was living in New York for months now but still she needed to get used to how different this giant city was from the country.

"Oh!" she exclaimed then as she seemed to have finally realised what their goal was. Her eyes started to sparkle as she looked at him. "Are we heading to the Brooklyn Bridge?"

Danny's smile widened. "Very good, Montana. You're slowly starting to learn where's what."

"Really nice of you, Messer," she answered, playfully smacking his arm. "But I thought we wanted to run."

"That we will," he replied.

A few minutes later, the car was parked and they headed over to the bridge. The sun was slowly rising, changing the formerly dark sky into an impressive mix of different warm colours.

"Are you ready for some running?" Danny asked then as they stood, the long walkway in front of them. There were no other visitors around; exactly the way he had hoped for.

"You think that's a good idea?" Lindsay wanted to know.

"Why shouldn't it?" Danny asked back. "It doesn't matter if you're running on top of a bridge or somewhere nowhere in the country. So." He gave her an encouraging look. "Let's run. Let's run it all out. Until we're too exhausted to move. I wonder who of us while make it further."

"That's an easy question," she answered with a grin.

And with that she ran, closely followed by him. It was no jogging, no causal running for fun. Both of them were doing as they had intended to; they were running it off their system; their feelings, their frustration, everything that was bugging them and not allowing them to simply enjoy. Faster and faster they got, panting as exhaustion started to take over. But anyway they continued. Both knew they couldn't run away in front of problems, feelings, pain or memories. After all they would always catch up with them. Anyway the powerful and fast movements had the wished effect; it seemed as if every single step cleared their minds just a bit more.

Neither of them knew how long they had been running as they slowed down more and more before they came to stop fully in the middle of the bridge. Heavily panting, with their hearts pounding hard in their chests, they grabbed the railing for support as they allowed their bodies to calm down from the exhausting activity.

"Whoa," Lindsay managed to say then. "I think I never ran that fast before."

Danny chuckled between heavy breaths. "And how are you feeling now?"

"Exhausted," was the first thing she said. "But quite good. I think in the past I often tried to run away in front of my problems. This time it's been different though."

"What was different?" Danny asked, leaning back against the railing.

Lindsay shrugged. "It just seems like...well, it was more of a dealing with it actually. It seemed like the angrier I got the faster I ran. And the faster I was the less the anger became."

She wanted to say more but stopped as she looked at something behind him. Turning around as well, Danny saw what she was looking at. The sun had now appeared fully, was rising like a large, deep orange ball of fire, causing the wild water to glister. It was a breathtaking view.

"That's so beautiful," she said in awe. A soft smile lit her face and he couldn't resist the urge to step closer. He moved behind her until only inches were separating their bodies. It seemed like he could feel the warmth that was radiating from her body. His fingers were itching to touch her but this step he wasn't going to make yet.

"Scream," he whispered into her ear as he leant closer. "Scream the last bits out."

"Up here?" Lindsay glanced over her shoulder at him with raised eyebrows.

"Who's going to hear us with all the cars below?" Danny asked back. He noticed how close they actually were as he could feel her soft, warm breath tickling on his face while she continued glancing at him.

"Will you do it as well?" she wanted to know.

Danny smiled and nodded. He stepped closer as she turned around, facing the sunrise again. "One...two...three!"

And with two screams echoed through the early morning. It was an action that wasn't an easy step for both of them. Still it had a freeing effect on them both and as they once again turned to look at each other, light smiles spread across their faces.

But this time neither of them said a word. Instead they gazed at each other, right into the eyes, caught in the tension of the moment. During the last couple of days, the two of them had shared many of those sudden close moments; moments that kept on uniting them more and more. For Danny there was no doubt Lindsay could feel it as well; he could see it in her eyes, in the soft smile she was giving him.

"What are you thinking about?" he couldn't help but ask.

"About something Stella said earlier," she replied with a hint of hesitation.

"May I know what that was?" he wanted to know.

Lindsay blushed lightly. "She said there's more than just friendship. Between you and me."

"Do you think she's right?" he asked before he could stop himself.

"Do you?" she asked back.

Despite the situation, Danny couldn't prevent himself from smiling once again. Easily she had given the responsibility for the conversation back to him. He would be lying if he said he hadn't been fearing such a conversation. But as it was there now, everything seemed to be surprisingly easy.

"Yes," he said honestly. "Yes, I think there is more. Much more. I know that for a while now I guess. Especially since that kiss." He paused for a moment. "And...what about you?"

"There's a reason why Stella even brought up the topic in the first place," Lindsay answered.

It was no direct answer. For him it was enough to know. Barely Danny noticed how he approached her. Until nothing else but a breath was separating them. Still he was gazing at Lindsay, keeping his eyes locked with hers. Once again no one dared to speak a word as they let the tension speak for them.

And then it happened. Neither of them knew who had made the first step as they closed the last bit of distance between them and their lips met in a gentle kiss. Instinctively Danny wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled Lindsay closer. All of their emotions that had been hidden by them poured into the kiss as they revealed to each other what they were feeling. It hadn't been easy for them to get to this point but both of them knew it had only been a question of time until they would be honest to each other. Like their friends had said.

* * *

**Preview: A few weeks later; what are they doing now?**


	11. Everything’s Good

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who's been reviewing and reading this fic! This is the last chapter of this story. I hope you'll like it! Special thanks to afrozenheart412 and Storywriter!**

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****Chapter 11: Everything's Good**

A month later:

Sitting on the bed, Lindsay was taking in the room she had spent the last couple of weeks in. Longer than expected, she had shared this apartment with Stella. A couple of times she had asked her if she should head back to her own place, but Stella and Danny had convinced Lindsay that it was perfectly fine to have a roommate for a while.

Now, after over a month, she believed it was about time to move back into her own apartment. Anyways Lindsay had to agree with Danny and Stella; it had been a good idea to not be alone for this time. More than once, the fact she had a roommate and didn't have to call any of her close friends had made dealing with certain situations a lot easier.

During the last couple of weeks she had gone through a couple of up and down periods. There had been times in which she had firmly believed she was getting back to her old self, that things were getting easier, that she could handle work the way she did before. Just to be followed closely by moments in which she had broken down in tears, needing the comfort she immediately got from her friends as she was struggling with overwhelming pain and anger.

As familiar as the feelings she had to struggle with had been to Lindsay, the situations had been entirely different. Had she felt lonely ever so often in the past, now Danny and Stella had made sure she always found someone to talk to. Day in and day out, Stella had proven to her that there was a reason why she was Lindsay's best friend. And Danny had shown to her that giving their relationship a chance had definitely been worth it.

A smile lit her face as she thought about her boyfriend. Clearly Lindsay could remember the one night where Danny had picked her up at the bar. She hadn't been sure on whether she had wished anyone to find her there. That he had shown up though, showing concern and taking care of her had felt good. There had been this sudden closeness between them; something like that she hadn't experienced before.

A closeness that had led to their first kiss. So worried she had been that she could have pushed them too far with a kiss that hadn't been meant to be a gesture of desperation but had been caused by what she was feeling for him.

But her worries had been unnecessary. Like Stella, Danny had been there for her. So many times he had listened to her, had shared his own thoughts, feelings and experiences with her in the hope to help her with that in any way. He had been successful with that indeed and soon the closeness between them was increasing to a part where no one of them could deny it anymore.

Then he had invited her for a run on the Brooklyn Bridge; the moment that had led to their second kiss. The kiss that had done what everyone around them had been waiting for. It had been a confession. A confession of the fact that both of them had fallen in love with each other.

Since this kiss, Danny and Lindsay were together. And so far she was certain that giving their relationship a chance had been one of the best decisions she could have made.

"There has to be something nice you're thinking about."

It was Stella who caused Lindsay to snap out of her thoughts again. Looking up, she found her friend leaning in the doorway, watching her with a smile.

"Let me guess...your thoughts had to do with Danny?" Stella added with a wink.

Lindsay chuckled. "I wonder how you guessed that. It's not just him I've been thinking about though." A smile lit her face as she blushed a bit. Emotional talks still weren't easy for her. "You two have been there for me all the time. I can't thank you enough for that."

Stella smiled back at her warmly as she made her way over to the bed and sat down as well. "And I hope you know you thanked us enough already with getting better. You've been there for us as well. That's what people do when they love each other, don't they? I hope you also know that you don't have to move out yet. You can stay here as long as you want."

"I know," Lindsay answered. Closely she watched Stella as she spoke and the expression in her friend's eyes told her there was more behind her answer than she wanted to reveal. "Stella, it's the same way it was when you moved into your new apartment. Only because we're not living together anymore doesn't change anything between us."

"Yes, I know that," Stella replied. "But anyways...I got used to it, you know? There aren't many people I feel a connection to like I do with you." Her face flushed a bit as well. "This might sound a little like out of a sappy movie, but for me you've become something like my little sister. I've always been longing for something steady in my life. For me you're one of those persons and as you've been living here all the time, it was perfect. It was like I could have this sister relationship I wanted all the time. I know my place is too small for us to live here together. But well...we agreed to be honest, right?"

Glancing back at her friend, Lindsay realised once again how much she had in common with Stella. Such an honest confession wasn't easy for any of them, still they trusted in each other enough to be open in a way like this.

"I know exactly what you mean," she answered then, taking Stella's hands into hers. "It's the way I'm feeling myself. It was wonderful to live here with you, knowing someone's there and all the evenings we spent together. It's something I want to keep this way. And only because we're not living together here anymore doesn't mean we can't. It is like you and me are sisters. It's this kind of a relationship that goes so deep that you know there is someone no matter what, and it's a precious kind of a relationship. I want us to not neglect that. Maybe we should set up days which are only for you and me. Or that we meet at least once or twice at the evenings and have a girls' night. Whatever we do. But we'll make sure we'll keep it steady and going the way it's now. Friendships like this are very rare and I'm incredibly grateful to have something like that."

Stella's smile widened as she nodded. "I think that's a tradition I like a lot." She glanced at her watch. "Oh, I think I better hurry, your boyfriend should arrive here soon and I'm still in my sleeping clothes. Not the way he should see his supervisor."

Lindsay laughed. "Yeah, maybe you better hurry up." In amusement she watched how her friend got up and rushed over into the near bathroom. She would make sure their friendship would stay the way it was now and that Stella would have the steady sister-like relationship she was wishing for so much.

Not even five minutes had passed as the doorbell rang. Although she had been awaiting him, Lindsay felt a rush of excitement as she got up and hurried to the front door to let Danny in. Barely she had opened the door as her boyfriend had wrapped his arms around her already and pulled her into a deep, loving kiss.

"That's a way to greet me I might get used to," Lindsay chuckled as the parted again, finding him glancing down at her with a look that sent a wave of warmth though her.

"You know, I like rituals," he answered with a wink. "So you packed everything so we can get all your stuff back to your place again tomorrow?"

Lindsay nodded. "Yep. Although it's a strange feeling to move back into my own four walls. I think Stella's not too excited about that either."

"Then why don't you stay roomies?" he wanted to know. "Her place might be too small, but yours has an extra room. Not the biggest one, but with a bit of arranging, it should work pretty fine."

Lindsay's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, I didn't even think of that yet! That's actually a brilliant idea."

Danny grinned. "Aren't my ideas always brilliant?"

"They are indeed." Grinning herself, Lindsay gave him a soft kiss.

"You know, if she moves in with you though I still want to come over for some...you know," Danny told her as he followed her into the bedroom.

Lindsay rolled her eyes playfully. "Of course that's what comes first to your mind. But I think we'll find a solution for that."

"We have to, I mean I'm sure sooner or later she'll want to bring Mac over as well," Danny stated.

"Danny!" Lindsay hissed at him, not able to prevent herself from chuckling. "You know Stella doesn't want to hear anyone saying stuff about her and Mac."

Danny shrugged. "Why not? It's obvious. They're meant to be together. They just have to wake up and realise it."

"You mean like you and me?" she asked, wrapping her arms around his waist so she could snuggle into his chest.

"Just like us," he answered softly, kissing her into her hair. They stood in this embrace for a while before he spoke again. "I'm glad that...all this made us wake up. It's been a rough time and I'm glad you allowed me to be there for you."

"I'm glad that you have been there all the time," she replied, instinctively cuddling closer. "You've been very patient as you've given me all the time I needed. You've also been very open to me with sharing your own experiences."

"I think we're just a perfect team," he answered with a smile. "Hey, at least we don't have to worry we can't handle difficult times as this is the way it all started."

She chuckled. "Yeah, that's true indeed. About time we get to relax a bit. But it seems like we're on a good way."

Danny nodded. "Absolutely." Once again he was quiet for a while before he added, "So, how do you want to deliver your little surprise to Stella?"

"Which little surprise?"

As if she had known she was talked about, Stella appeared in the bedroom just to hear the question. Turning around, Danny and Lindsay found their friend standing there with a curious expression. She wouldn't let them talk themselves out of the situation.

"Danny made a suggestion regarding what we talked about earlier," Lindsay said then, deciding to be honest. "He's said that actually you could move in with me. I have a spare room."

Stella's eyes widened in surprise. "You know you don't have to do that. It's perfectly fine when you want to have your own place. We made a wonderful agreement already."

Lindsay had to smirk at the answer she had already expected. "Would you like to be my roommate or not?" she asked simply.

"Of course," Stella answered.

"Then would you mind to have my spare room?" Lindsay wanted to know.

"No, I wouldn't mind it," Stella replied. "But..."

"No buts!" Lindsay interrupted. "Did you accept it when I wanted to contradicts as you asked me to stay at your place? No. Because you wanted to have me here. And I want to have you there. So if you still want me as a roommate, just tell me when and we'll arrange it."

Stella looked back at her for a moment, needing some time to think of what she had just heard. A smile lit her face then as the expression in her eyes revealed the way the suggestion had touched her. "I think then Danny and the other guys need to help us if we want to get my stuff over to your place," she said.

Lindsay's smile changed into a grin as she looked at Danny. "You won't mind, right?"

Danny shrugged. "As if I'd say no to you."

"Fantastic." Lindsay looked back at Stella. Excitement was rising inside her at the prospect of having her best friend as a roommate and her boyfriend being at her place almost permanently as well. Of course having so many people around her all day could be stressful. In this case though things couldn't be any better. "So, but actually we met here for something else."

"True." Danny nodded, remembering why he had actually visited the women in the first place. "Are you two ready for some late night running on the Brooklyn Bridge?"

"Well, I am," Stella said.

"So am I," Lindsay replied with a grin.

A few minutes later, Danny, Lindsay and Stella were on their way to the Brooklyn Bridge. Always they had been close; no matter if as friends or as partners. The last couple of weeks had brought them even closer. All of them had to deal with the shadows of the past occasionally. They knew though that they had people at their sides who cared for them. People who would always be there. It was a closeness that was unique and they were grateful for experiencing it with each other.


End file.
